Damn you you stupid crush!

ShowMeLove's picture

Had a pretty great day today. My college had a free barbecue today at lunch so I was sitting there all alone when my crush or maybe former crush now...came over and sat with me. Arr. She was making conversation and I was being...well, less awkward than I was a few months ago. Haha.

She started saying how her mom was telling her she was getting fat so now she's going to the gym and trying to lost weight and I'm thinking, in my head only of course, "you're freaking perfect!" Cause honestly she doesn't need to lose weight, she's in great shape. She's not like one of those toothpick skinny girls, she's actually got some meat on her bones, which I am personally attracted to. But, yeah....I didn't end up saying anything, which was stupid, I'm pretty bad at thinking things to say on the spot. lol.

Then later her husband, who also goes to our school, came over and sat down. Yes, if you didn't read my journals from May-June, I'm attracted to a girl who's not only 6 years older than me, which is odd for me to begin with, but she's also married. And the topper is...he seems like a really nice guy. Oh, they also have a few kids. lol. I'm bad...

I'm pretty much over her though. I'm still attracted to her because she's well, attractive and she's a really nice, good natured, and supportive person. And yes, if she was totally gay, single, and likewise attracted to me I would totally want to go out/make out with her. But alas, non of those things are possible, and I'm pretty sure she assumes I'm straight. So, I'm basically over the crush thing and I'd be more than happy to have her as just my friend :)

I wish they'd throw more of these barbecues cause it made an awesome day. Err...lunch.


wheels148's picture

start bugging ryan at the

start bugging ryan at the college and you may just get a few more of said bbq's lol
Mothers, tell your children: be quick, you must be strong. Life is full of wonder, love is never wrong. Remember how they taught you, how much of it was fear. Refuse to hand it down - the legacy stops here. ~Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy," Yes I A