I'm so incredibly frustrated now. I just want to be OUT of this state. I'm so f'ing tired of my school. All the people there, are boring, annoying and so incredibly unattractive. All the males at my school walk around like they have a stick up their ass because it somehow communicates more masculine body language, or at least that's the conclusion I've arrived at. And it pisses me off!
And then the girls? Jesus christ, why would somebody wear blue/black zebra printed tights, with a skanky-mesh-tube-type pink monsterous thing with ugly Osiris-brand yellow, orange and blue kicks? Everyone at my school is just skank, to the max.
And the homosexuals? There's one, besides myself. And he's in that stupid and annoying pride, self-discovery stage. And I really can't stand communicating with people when they're in that stage. Sure, homosexuality is a pretty big facet of my life, but I do other things than liking dudes.
You know what's funny? I've only encountered ONE other make homosexual that I haven't found incredibly annoying. Joey, my ex, is a fucking lunatic and he's so incredibly annoying. Then Matthew? He's going through that self-discovery/pride bullshit too. And he's so annoying too. He's so incredibly dry and UGH! Must I go on?
Andy was the only one that didn't annoy me to the max. He was down to earth and done with the pride-shit. Sure, when same-sex marriage was legalized in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine, I was pretty happy. I think it's safe to say it made my day. But not my week and certainly not my year. And he and I were so incredibly comfortable around each other. We acted like a couple and not some prideful experimenting same-sex couple of annoyingness. Oh, and he was attractive. I apparently failed to mention that every homosexual male I've encountered is UGLY. Save for Andy, naturally. Maybe I'm just a heterosexual-romanticist at heart... *sighs*
Ugh! I just want to be over Andy so badly. I'm done being depressed, I'm done crying and I'm done being moody. I just want to fucking move on into a slump of lack-of-romance.
But I'm just so afraid of letting him go. What if he was the one? And what if this is the end of us?
Oh, BTW! Please don't tell me that it'll get better and that there's other boys out there. If I cared about the other boys out there, I wouldn't be ranting about Andy, would I?
GAH! This is so ridiculously stupid.
Sorry for the lack of coherence in this. I just kind of let what I was feeling spill onto the keys.