Seriously?

Nanook's picture

Is coming out really that hard for people? I don't mean to say that being gay is easy, but are people - especially parents - really that mean? Sure, when I came out to my mom, I was scared as all hell, but that was just because i drilled that social stigma into my head that homosexuality was a taboo. I think I always knew that she would love me.

I never came out to my father, just because I hate awkward scenes, but he knows. He and I got into a fight one night and he said a disparaging remark about homosexuality directed at me. He didn't actually mean it with a homophobic hate, but hell, we were having a fight. Then, after he and I both cooled down, he came up to my room. He sat down next to me on my bed and told me that he didn't mean it, and that he loved me regardless of anything. That was the only time he's ever said something despairingly about homosexuals, at least to my recollection.

He actually cross-dressed one time for a contest back in his Eaglebrook days (boarding school), and actually won a dinner at some restaurant. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to partake in his reward, because he was expelled from the school a week or so later for smuggling booze in (he was a crazy kid when he was younger, or at least that's what I arrived at when he told me this story among others). But he commented on how the Mainiacs (my name for individuals from Maine - what are you actually supposed to call them? Vermont folk are Vermonters, or Woodchucks. New Hampshire folk are New Hampshirites, but what about people from Maine?) were yelling some despairing comments at him and how he thought that they were idiots.

Anyway, are people really that mean at school? Sure, I've received a couple homophobic remarks, but that's been from about from 5 people, at most. Everyone else doesn't really care. In fact, they joke about it with me. They don't seem to mind when I yell, "EW! Heterosexuals" at couples kissing in the halls either. They just laugh and smile at me.

I guess that I'm kind of blessed with how my life's turning out. The only really homophobic person I've met has been my brother, but luckily, he keeps his mouth shut. I don't he would dare say anything homophobic about me in front my parents or my older brother. And it's not that he's homophobic even. He's just afraid of me being too feminine. So it's more of a masculinity thing. Hell, Andy spent the night once, and we all ate dinner together, and my brother didn't mind at all.

Too bad the United States wasn't like Vermont...

Comments

Merric's picture

It would be easier

if my parents didn't love me. Then I could feel like I was in the right.

Icarus's picture

I'm going to do the best I

I'm going to do the best I can to say this without sounding like a complete and utter bitch. I live as far north as you can be while still being south. In high school, there wasn't a day that didn't go by where someone didn't make a remark equating being gay with being stupid or bad or dumb. "Fag" was interchangeable with pretty much any other disparaging comment on the planet. Masculinity and femininity are wrapped up in how you present yourself and who you fuck. You have a church on almost every corner telling you that the feelings you have are a choice and come from the devil and if you don't renounce your evil and sinful ways, you're going to hell, but they love you anyway. The majority political party in your area is dead-set on making sure you can't adopt children, get married, or even have a civil commitment to one another.

Studies have proven that about 40% of teenage runaways are homosexuals who have either been kicked out or couldn't stand living under the same roof with their family for fear of being found out.

Kids stay quiet about their sexuality, not only to their parents, but to their peers for fear of harassment and abandonment. There's nothing like homosexuality to beat the love and respect out of a relationship. I've seen obviously gay kids lie to themselves and everyone else, just for the sake of their own safety.

So in conclusion, yes, you are very lucky to live where you are and have the life you have.

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

Nanook's picture

You didn't sound like a

You didn't sound like a bitch at all.

I hope I didn't sound like a prat to you, going on about how easy I have it. It's just, I don't understand how people can be so hateful. And quite honestly, I hate it. I think it's stupid. And I wish it would stop. Hence me wanting the Union to be like Vermont.

Icarus's picture

something like homophobia is

something like homophobia is both understandable and beyond comprehension.

and no, you didn't sound like a prat, it's just sometimes you don't realize how easy you have it until you see how the other side lives.

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

elph's picture

So...Again...One Shouldn't Jump to Conclusions!

That's great. You've got a wonderful and supportive family (don't tell me I've done it again!). Anyway, I think I'm envious...

elph's picture

Your Family Sounds Idyllic

Yeh... you have been blessed!

I gather that only your parents know your orientation (your father, by inference)? I suspect your little brother is engaging in what he considers to be good natured teasing. Why not just tell him that he's pretty perceptive --- for an annoying brother (whom you love)?

Nanook's picture

Oh, everyone knows. My

Oh, everyone knows. My mother, father, both of my brothers, a cousin on my mother's side, a second cousin on my father's side, all of my aunts and uncles on my fathers side... Everyone knows.

Oh, he's not my little brother either - I'm the baby of the family.

elph's picture

Comment Two Posts Up

I tried repeatedly to insert it here, but every attempt failed. Sorry...

lamb_da's picture

i'm pretty blessed myself

i haven't really been attacked or anything....just a few are you gay?/why are you wearing that gay wirct band thing? so...yeah...we're really blessed with such great citizens in our community

That's so straight. No, seriously.