what to believe

stardust's picture

I don't know what to believe. Yesterday my older sister picked me up from the dentist. Then we went to the mall to find me a hoodie jacket. The bridal party for her wedding are all wearing hoodie's and track pants while we hang out and get ready the afternoon/night of the bachlorette party. My jacket we ordered was too small, but we found this awesome purple one at bebe.

Anyway, while we ate lunch, I strategically brought up the topic of 'gay' via commenting on what my mom told me about her and my sister's trip to the flower wholesale shop yesterday morning, where a bunch of gay guys work. And basically we talk, and then my sister tells me that one of my mom's best friends back in the 80's was gay. Apparently she had a few gay friends. And I say 'was' about this guy because he died in the AIDS epidemic. He was a really good friend of my mom, but this is the first I've ever heard about him. Now I'm so confused. I don't know what to believe. I get so many conflicting signals when it comes to my parents feeling towards LGBT people. I mean I've seen the eyebrow raise, heard jokes, and even remember my mom flinching and making an 'eeww' face during that ep of Grey's Anatomy when the soldier with the brain tumor is kissing his soldier boyfriend.

On the one hand, I think maybe my parents are more okay with it than I originally thought. But on the other hand, I think this only reinforces the impression I've gotten that they tolerate it, but only from other people. 'Other' as in, I don't think they'd react very well if 'other' was suddenly in their 'family'. I don't know for sure though one way or the other. I hate that I can't even get a clear idea of how they feel about this. Though I think I'm even more positive that my sister doesn't have a problem with it. But seriously, I feel like sometimes in order to understand my family I need a whole separate dictionary or something.