Contemplation.

Nanook's picture

I feel like Andy just gave up on me. He broke up with me, at least this is what he conveyed to me, not because he disliked me, or his passion for me faded. No, instead he broke up with me, because he figured it would be easier, with the distance.

And that just really pisses me off. He always spewed out that bullshit mantra like "mind over matter". Sure, that can be totally true, the existence of psychosomatic illness, and the placebo effect proves it. However, he tried to live by that mantra - he felt that if he wanted to attain something, and if he tried his hardest, he would get it. I guess he didn't want to try for me.

Or did he expect us to be a failure from the very beginning? Did he simply think that we just wouldn't last.

But I don't think any of that's true. He wears his emotions on his sleeve. Wait, that sounds kind of emo. Rather, he simply didn't care to especially hide things. He was always especially open around his parents, which I find to be an admirable trait. Although it was hard not to open around then. I don't think it would have been very easy to lie to the two of them. His parents are both pretty intelligent. Plus his father works for child services, so he automatically has a background in psychology.

Anyway, I kind of digressed there. The point I wanted to make, was the he was honest and allowed himself to be easily read, especially around his parents. His father, during dinner one night, remarked that he assumed he'd see me around a lot. And it wasn't mean in that sort of symbolic "I approve of you" sort of things. Well, it was, but that wasn't his motive. It was mainly a simple observation.

Well, from that remark, I assume that Andy's Pa was able to deduce that we cared for each other, more than casually.

So that leaves me with one option for why he broke up with me. He was afraid. I mean, he's only fifteen, and after all, that is relatively young.

This. just. sucks. I'm so ready to be done lamenting about this.

Comments

elph's picture

How Distant is Andy?

And... is this a permanent move, or just temporary?

In any event, you have my sympathy. I wish I had more to give...

Nanook's picture

He lives about 100 miles

He lives about 100 miles away from me, so about an hour and thirty drive (My iPhone said two hours, but it obviously didn't take into account that I drive like a maniac). It's always been that way. The reason we broke up, was because we didn't have any time to commit to each other, especially with the hurdle of that distance. He goes to a private school, so it has a relatively rigorous curriculum. Needless to say, he doesn't have a gigantic amount of personal time.

But Me? I have rigorous academics... I suppose. AP English Language, AP US History, Sociology and French III. It's not easy, I guess, but it's not hard, at least from my perspective. APEL is a joke, so I do all my non-typed homework during that time. So that means I only do projects and essays at home. So, needless to say, I don't have a lot of homework that I do at home.

swimmerguy's picture

Agreed...

You have my sympathy too...

"The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority." Margaret Chase Smith