Traffic has infinite potential to ruin someone's day where I live. There is traffic all the time now. The suburbs are to friggin crowded.
Went to midtown so I could do this volunteer orientation, which is required to volunteer at this children's shelter, but I got there to late because of traffic, and bad google maps directions, and because we would have left a few minutes earlier but my mom had to help my brother on his schoolwork. Orientation is only on Thursday afternoons. And next week I'm starting auditing 2 college classes on Tues/Thur so...yeah.
Afterwards we drove around, and we were kind of lost, and then I had the equivalent to a mental silent freakout attack, in a few split seconds. Why? Because I realized that we were on the road leading to the Queer Youth center. I know because I have looked up the directions and everything. So I frantically looked around to try and see it, my mom didn't notice, but from the way we were going I'm pretty sure the center was in the opposite direction. I considered asking my mom to turn around to try and find the place for about a millisecond, then mentally slapped myself and regained reason. I wish I could have though. I'm never going to be able to visit the youth center, my parents don't want me going downtown/midtown by myself at night, or using the public transit system. And the queer youth place's hours are early afternoon to night, and with the commute and my free hours, it just wouldn't work. I don't have any friends that can go with me. I thought about asking my sister to go with me, but then I'd have to...you know...tell her why. I mean I want to, but I just don't know.
Then there's pride weekend Oct. 30-Nov. 1st, it moved to later because of weather/park issues in June, which made me happy because then I could go, except I can't. I need a buddy, a partner in crime. Like my sister, but she doesn't know. And I can't tell my parents where I'm actually going. I want to go so badly though. I don't know what to do...
One good thing happened though. Tonight I ordered a Konica film camera body, to replace the one my mom already had, because the body was shot. The lens is in great condition though. I'm happy that I'm finally going to be able to use a manual film camera, and stop using the weird electronic film camera I've been using. We pick it up on Monday. =)