Oh FUCK

cantbreathe's picture

I hooked up with E. Who is a freshman boy. Which means he has no judgement. And is a "he". He knows I don't like guys, he was one of the first people I told. And he was so great about it. He's my best friend here. But then we were sitting out on a bench at Upper Field, and it was dark, and we were just talking, laughing, whatever. And then, all of sudden, he was kissing me, and I was kissing him back. Jesus, I don't know why, he's not even that cute by guy standards, but he's just so sweet, and I'm just so absolutely starved for affection... and then he was feeling me up, and I didn't stop him *headdesk*, and then it was time for study hall, so we walked back to the dorms. His arm around me, like always. WHAT DO I DO aaaaagggh. I really love him, he's a great guy, but not in that way. I can't get myself caught up in this "I WILL convince myself to be attracted to a guy" thing again. I already know it doesn't work.

Comments

Tophat's picture

Oh, no... I knwowhat you're

Oh, no... I knwowhat you're going through, I do it with girls sometimes.

*DOUBLEHUG* I'm so sorry... I wish I could offer advice... BUT I CAN'T! AUGH!

All I can offer you are my sympathies. and *hug*s.

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Happiness is ideal, it is the work of the imagination.

-The Marquis de Sade

oldfoxbob's picture

Time for a talk

I think you and he need to sit down and have a talk....Friendship YES...lovers..NO...I am sure he will understand that it was a freak thing between the two of you...Otherwise you could come to an agreement of just sex between the two of you...YUCK...and be an outlet for him and you. If that is for you that is...of course wrap his wraskel if you do no babys needed yet thats for sure.
Otherwise dont break off friendship with him but talk it out with the two of you. Let him know what you expect and want and he should do the same. Stay friends as they are always valued in life.
Good luck.
OFB

Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense. Humor is the best pain pill.