It's not something I'm used to. I guess it's a combination of enjoying the longass bus ride there(and back) and the fact that I'm actually doing quite well. Plus, you know, the crush helps. It's really weird. I annoy myself whenever she's around because I get so nervous and tense and I can't quite concentrate. But I LOVE the feeling I get when I talk to her. Well, when I'm NOT making a fool of myself, anyways.
It just makes me feel good. You know? I like her and yes she's unattainable (taken and presumably straight as an arrow), but I get a high off of the feelings. Plus, I don't think I'm ready for a full on relationship yet anyways. I'd like to think I'd make a really great girlfriend and all, and in fact I used to think so. But I now know that I've got issues, like everybody else. Self-esteem issues, I need a confidence booster!! I also know that I would most likely be terrible at communicating. This is just a guess but I can see it being a problem. I'm afraid to make the first move in EVERY SITUATION. And I don't like giving people the upper hand.
Okay, not really. Everybody's got issues and flaws. I guess, I've just always been honest about it, at least with myself. Now, where can I find some flawed queer girls that want to work out there issues with me? Haha.