I feel bad...

ShowMeLove's picture

I talked to my older brother on the phone today. It was the first time in nearly a year. Now I feel bad :/ He's mentally ill, Schizophrenic, and, well, it's a long story, but he lived with us for about 5 years and those years were pretty hellish. He was on and off his meds and also drank. A lot. Not a good mixture. We had our ups and downs. So, I was talking to him today for a bit and he sounded really well. I just wish we could go down and visit him before Christmas, and while he's still happy and in a good place. It almost makes me sad when I think about him saying goodbye "Hey, thanks for calling Ash. I really appreciate it....I hope I get to hear from you again...or even see you"

I just cried while typing that out. Ahh...the way he he said it is going to haunt me for a while. I can never get out why that means so much, I guess you'd have to go through what we have together.


Lol-taire's picture

Oh darling- what can I even

Oh darling- what can I even say to you? just my sincerest sympathy

fox333's picture

Oh my *HUG* I have no idea

Oh my *HUG* I have no idea what you are going through. I am on the opposite side. Best wishes to both of you.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde

niks121997's picture


:hugs: I have nothing to say really other than I wish you both well. And if possible, keep in contact with him if it isn't too hard for either of you. I'm glad he's doing well right now.

ShowMeLove's picture

Thank you all for all the

Thank you all for all the hugs and lovely thoughts :)