I'm sick. I don't know what I need to do. And nobody listens to me.

Tophat's picture

I'm sick. I think.

I'm not physically sick. But I think that there's someone else inside my head. I'm not always sure what I'm doing. Sometimes I see things. I've been seeing these things more often now. It's scary.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm getting scared.

For one thing, I'm a masochist, which isn't totally abnormal, but I hurt myself because it's arousing, which I know can be bad for me... But I do it.

I can't always be sure it's me talking, either, because I say things I don't always mean.

I'm just scared. I think I'm going insane. People have stopped talking to me, and I don't know why.

I just don't know what to do. I want to leave, get out of here, but where would I go? Why do I feel like I need to run away so very badly? What is wrong with me?

I'm trying to get help but they don't understand. They don't listen to me. I tell them things, I'm trying to tell them that there are scary things in my head but THEY DON'T LISTEN.

I don't know what I'm doing half the time. I'm not all there. I can't focus. I can't always tell where I am, or what time it is, or even what year it is.

I can't handle this. I'm scared.

Comments

elph's picture

Could your school nurse provide advice?

Tophat... I am confident that you are aware that you should share your inner demons (whatever form they may be in) with a competent psychologist. Please, do not delay!

I do not know how large a school you attend, but if you have a student health department, you should seek their advice.

I believe I recall your mentioning having seen a professional... if no help was forthcoming, it may be time to go elsewhere!

Wishing you the best of health and a joyous Thanksgiving.

ZBoy7's picture

Makes Me Wonder

is this a metaphor? is your poor physical feeling attributed to something emotional? did anything traumatic happen recently?

Uncertain's picture

Hey buddy

Hope things get better soon. What are these scary things

Tophat's picture

Ever seen a horror film?

Imagine that, except real. And as twisted as my mind.

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Those who are united in love know no separation.
-Meher Baba