Parents Are So Stupid Sometimes

ElvenKnight's picture

I was just thinking about the time when I was 15 when I almost came out to my mom. It was mid-afternoon and I had just gotten home from an interview at the private school I would eventually transfer to for 10th-12th grade. Anyway, i just got home and was settling in. The very first thing my mother asks me is not what did I think of the school but whether I thought the admissions counselor Miss Whateverhernameis is good looking or not.
Maybe it's just me but I don't think parent's pay upwards of thirty grand a year in order to send their kids to a school that has an attractive admissions counselor.
It's the education stupid.
Besides why would a 15 year old boy want to this sort of conversation with his mother?

" What?? Whatever....."

" Are you even straight?"

" Shut up, mom"
, and i went to my room.


ZandCompany's picture

Aw. I'm sorry. That really

Aw. I'm sorry. That really sucks. Parents are really stupid sometimes. I mean, my dad needs pretty much everything to be spelled out for him. I brought my girlfriend over once, not for much time, I was picking something up, and we were pretty couply, and he still thought I was straight. Parents seem to have a sort of blind spot for their kids.

"If you never asked who I am, how can you assume you know me?"

Lol-taire's picture

My mother used to ask me

My mother used to ask me about boys when I was 14/15. Partly (mostly) to see if I was interested in them.

The "are you even straight?", sounds a bit like my mother's "oh, you're probably a lesbian".

They're being provocative; they want the answer to be "of course, I'm straight", but they already know deep down that the answer isn't. So they ask hoping you'll reassure. them. But you don't.

They get over it.

(sort of)

ElvenKnight's picture


except with my mother, she is the kind of person that would be just a little TOO okay with one of her sons being gay. In fact when i was younger i was under the impression that she WANTED me to be a homosexual. Every time she would gauge, she would do it it in such a way as if she were trying to stigmatise heterosexuality.
Or so it seemed..... Meh.
Maybe I was just being neurotic.

jeff's picture


Could mean she thought you were a homo, so she was finding a way into the discussion. Which probably meant she'd be supportive, since it seems less likely they'd draw it out of you and get freaked out by it. In that case, they'd just go into denial and convince themselves it wasn't true.

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis