Watch us dance, friends. We're there all the time.
Haha, hell, we're even in your bedroom.
We watch you masturbate, ladies. And you, boys, you do it even more.
Oh, and we watch you so called "Straight boys'' masturbating to your gay porn.
Ever since we last met,
we've been waiting for the last meeting.
We Skeletons don't rest.
We're in every room,
waiting for a chance to fuck up your lives.
Got a secret?
We're with you, baby.
Hell, we can't wait for you to tell someone, so that they'll tell another person,
so that they'll tell another person.
All you closeted boys and girls?
We can't wait for you to get caught by your parents watching your porn.
Or at summer camp, fucking each other blue.
The counselors will find you.
We'll make sure of it.
As for you closeted politicians,
we've got a real love for you.
We just can't wait for you to go "hiking the appalachian trail".
Don't worry about it,
the press will get ahold of it soon enough.
And your straighties, this applies to you as well.
Nobody is without us.
We're the Skeletons in the Closet!
Hated by all,
but we're always there for you!
And if we have our way,
so will everyone else.
We love you.
Nobody gives us better kicks than you.
We gave you Bill Clinton!
And you impeached him,
We gave you Nixon.
God bless Watergate.
We gave you Michael Phelps,
and his weed!
We're just waiting for Charlie Christ to fuck up.
With his little-boy prostitutes, it's only a matter of time.
Just wait, our little poppets...
Wait to see what's in store for you next.