Lies?

Dracofangxxx's picture

Is everything I know a lie? Can I ever trust anybody anymore?

Devan? Pitied me. Went out with me and then broke up with me for another girl he actually did like.

Ryan? Pitied me as well, but actually meant it. Was... generally a pretty good boyfriend for a few weeks. Didn't ever hug me though... Then I left him for Jonah. Wasn't mad at all.

Jonah? Said he loved me... And I loved him... Lasted a year, a month, six days. Left. Lied. Killed me. Broke my heart. Whatever else I can say. Then he went out with my ex-best friend, who "loves" him. If there's one thing I learned from our relationship, it's that I cannot be clingy or love anyone. Nobody. I realize that now. My heart is mine, and if I ever give it away, it will just be broken again. Into finer and finer grains. I'd say it's about gravel right now... Maybe I'll die when it gets to be sand?

Marcus? Ahhh I like him. A lot. But he's old. I couldn't stay with him. That wouldn't... work out. I mean... he's sweet... But no. I have to make smart decisions. Plus... he was... there...

Not gonna analyze the last one for public privacy.

Goodnight.

Comments

ferrets's picture

dear....

childhood brake ups are bad. always. but that dosnt mean the answer is ton not put all ur love into someone. it just means thats a risk u have to take to find that one that wont hurt you, will love you forever, until ur six feet under

experince the awe and mystery that reaches from the deepest inner mind to the outer limits!

Dracofangxxx's picture

i'm beginning to believe i'm

i'm beginning to believe i'm just not worth it.
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Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...

swimmerguy's picture

I don't think you will die when your heart gets to sand...

Silt is smaller, and so is clay particles. And if you really want to get small, get to molecules than atoms than protons, neutrons, and electrons, then to quarks and all that good stuff. You'll always pull it together.

"I bust mine so I can kick yours" ~ design on a swimming t-shirt

Uncertain's picture

Just means he wasn't the

Just means he wasn't the right one, for you
They'll break your heart, and one day you might break someone else's too

It's not really anybody's fault it just didn't work out. Wasn't meant to be. I'll stop with the cliches, but I'm sure there'll be many more out there. Just enjoy it while it lasts. Maybe eventually one will stick around

lamb_da's picture

oh sweetie...

let's pretend i'm there, sitting next to oyu and giving you a hug...check that...i'll hold you until you want me to let go...yup *hug*

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

Dracofangxxx's picture

thank you... *hug* I love

thank you... *hug* I love hugs. I miss them so much.
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Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...

lamb_da's picture

i'm here anytime you need

i'm here anytime you need me, pm or comment :) *hughughughughug*

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

fox333's picture

Well if you miss hugs I will

Well if you miss hugs I will give you one too *HUG* and you ARE worth it.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde