A terrible rage and jealousy is cosuming me lately. Partly at Ferrets, actually. Sorry, old boy, I do love you.

Tophat's picture

I'm a pathetic little creature. The last few days only serve to remind me that I'm merely human, maybe less.

I've fallen in love with Chad, you all know that's Swimmerguy. I really do love and care for him, although I hardly have the chance to speak with him anymore. We spoke frequently at one time.

How I miss him...

I feel an unecessary and visceral feeling of jealousy towards Ferrets, hwever, and I must apologize for this. Chad seems infatuated with him/you, and I want him to be happy and whatnot, but the terrible human-ness within me wells up whenever I think of it.

I hate this heart of mine. I wish I could keep it in a box sometimes.

This feeling of jealousy is unwanted, unneeded, and embarassing.

I'm furious lately as well, at the world, at America, at my family.

I'm a freak when it comes to what I see as injustice, and the things I see of it make me furious. I explode relatively rarely, but it's happened a few times within the new year. I'm so angry at people nowadays, because they're so cruel to their fellow humans.

This makes me even more ashamed of my jealousy.

I shall be here more often on Oasis within a period of at least two days. However, being the erratic and slightly insane creature I am, I may not be longer than that. Or I may stay for a year constantly. I don't really know.

Oy. Please comment. I need verification that I'm actually mattering to something on this planet.

Comments

TotalGeek42's picture

Hedwigg!! We missed you! Or

Hedwigg!!

We missed you!

Or I missed you... and Dracofang did. So I guess that's we... >>

There's nothign wrong with feeling jealous.. it's completely normal when you liek someone. That's why feelings can be such a pain... ><

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

Tophat's picture

Thanks, love. That's sweet of you.

I seem to have made Dracofang think I'd killed myself.

If I only had the courage, but nay, I be a coward, me.

---

I love you.

TotalGeek42's picture

Well I'd much prefer you

Well I'd much prefer you alive, thanks. :P

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

Wolfcry's picture

Courrage? no. It takes

Courrage? no. It takes EXTREEM fear to do that. I'm glad you were not THAT scared of life. Live to hate us all if you wish, but choose to live.

"This is what I thought, I thought you need me, This is what I thought so think me naïve, I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep, Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep." Prelude 12/21 - AFI

Riku's picture

You've got it all backwards.

What takes courage is living.

ferrets's picture

im sorry :(

im sorry my dear :/ dont worry, i understand your jealousy.

Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'

Wolfcry's picture

And the erratic part as

And the erratic part as well...

"This is what I thought, I thought you need me, This is what I thought so think me naïve, I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep, Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep." Prelude 12/21 - AFI

Dracofangxxx's picture

Chad kinda really didn't

Chad kinda really didn't want Ferrets to know.

So I hope when he gets back he's not too mad... Anyways. I miss him too. I really love mah Chaddy as well, he's quite possibly the best guy friend I've ever had in my life EVER. He's so awesome ;A; and I wanted to hang out with him this weekend, like, baking cookies and watching a movie or SOMETHING cool... But he had to leave and it made me really sad D:

And I do really care about you. Lots. I panic when you're not on and stuff. I guess I just really care about yah :)

Oh. Yeah. You guys can call me Shelby, you know, I don't mind that >.>
-
Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...

Wolfcry's picture

Well Mish Shelby, I ashume

Well Mish Shelby, I ashume Dat, like me, mosht oashinsh recogonishe you ash mish Dracofang. But that ish mah ashumpshion.

"This is what I thought, I thought you need me, This is what I thought so think me naïve, I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep, Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep." Prelude 12/21 - AFI

swimmerguy's picture

Omg

I'm really sorry. The past few days I've been tired as crap.

I can't sleep, I've been getting headaches all day long, and soon I may just be an extension of my piano.
I have not much time, as I have devoted it to schoolwork, piano, swimming, and Oasis.

However, I just got back from skiing at Whistler in Canada, and I feel much better now.
I'm really sorry. I'll just have to make energy for you.
Love yoooooouuuu.

"The sole right of a human being is the right to do whatever you damn well please. Their sole duty is to take responsibility for their actions" ~ P.J. O'Rourke

fox333's picture

Its ok Tophat, were all

Its ok Tophat, were all human.

A man is educated and turned out to work. But a woman is educated and turned out to grass.
Pearl S. Buck