TotalGeek42's picture

I feel like recently all of my journals have been either depressed or just lists of my life... I dunno. Nothing -good- has happened, I guess... I mean, I'm not unhappy. Just... dysphoric.

It's like... as more and more I'm just another guy, I'm also more dysphoric with the parts of me that don't show that. Looking in the mirror just gets harder as the days go on, and I wish it would stop..

I made the mistake of telling youtube that sometimes I feel left out because he's alwasy going off and hanging out with the othe rpeople from group, and none of them have even suggested hanging out with me.. and now he won't shut up about it. He keeps joking about it, but.. I hate that I'm like that. My life would be so much easier if I wasn't, but I am. I have friends that hang out with my other friends all the time and it always bothers me, just cuz I only have one friend that ever tries to do anything with me, and he just gets annoying after a while.

But I know I shouldn't be unhappy about it. I know my freinds love me.. they're just not good at showing it, I guess. Nonetheless, I -am- like that.. I get jealous. And it drives me insane cuz I feel like it just comes off as obnoxious and clingy, yaknow?

Anywho.. I've been watching lots of how I met your mother... great showw. I'm halfway through the first season after just watching straight through last night. I'll probably watch more as soon as I finish this journal.

Aaand I want it to be monday. So that I can get a sonic screwdriver that I can use.. >>

Yeahh... that's all. xD