TODAY WAS REALLY REALLY FUCKED UP.
i am honestly missing 2 years ago when i would sit at home and do nothing.
Okay, soo. Until mid-afternoon, I was having a pretty swell day. I went to go take pictures with my mother, and I had alot of fun. :D I'll share some tommarrow.
Then, X wanted me to meet me at his friend Z's house, because he has a projector and it's chill to watch movies with a projector. So I'm like, k, I get there and this other guy I don't know, A, is there. He was pretty shy and kind of cute. So anyways we watch this movie and X totally ignored the other guys and I was like yay, inner squeal of joy, and he was cuddling me :33. Plus A and Z were smoking, and the smell of cigs turns me on.. anyways, Z needed to go to work so A, X and I went back to X's place.
Soo A was being totally shy and X was all hitting on me and shit. WHICH IS AWKWARD NUMBER ONE. like X was all over me, kissing me, lifting up my shirt... and okay yeah, i'm turned on, but i'm also like, K DUDE, YOU HAVE A GUEST? and i'm sort of trying to talk to A at the same time, because I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him or whatever. So we're watching spongebob and eating hot dogs, and then we end up in bed.
AWKWARD NUMBER TWO. yeah, okay, X is basically wanting to have sex while A is just... THERE. fully clothed. And I was super uncomfortable because he looked like he felt really awkward. At the same time X knows exactly how to turn me on. I kept telling him that if he wasn't comfortable to leave, or that he could join in. Anyways, I refused to do anything while he was in the room, so I told him to go take a smoke or something... So X and I start having sex and A just like comes back in the room (I think X called him back in, I don't remember 100%). I mean, when you have someone inside you it's hard to have proper judgement, so I was just sort of like whatever. I think X wanted to have a threesome, but A wasn't in the mood to do anything.
ANYWAYS. A was just sort of like, oh, I don't mind, I mean I could tell he was a bit uncomfortable. It's just, he seems really nice. Pretty inexperienced and shy. Either way he gave me all his infos so I can reach him again if I want to, and I do. I know he thinks I'm cute. And he gave me all this after all this retardedness...
If I play my cards right, I could easily have him. He'd be so much better for me then X ever will.
Oh,and I got an emotional slap in the face today:
A had had sex with X YESTERDAY. aka, when I was supposed to see him. WHATTHEHELL. according to X, they had met up in the late evening, like around 11-12 ish, after he was back and past my curfew but it's still somewhat of a huge bitch. Honestly X is losing more and more charm and I'm just like, K WHATEVER at this point.
Like, I keep telling myself that if I get the chance to be with someone better than X, I'll take it.
The only thing that concerns me is that this kid smokes A LOT by what I can tell, and that he doesn't go to school.
I guess we'll see how things go.
Tomorrow : partying. maybe i'll meet someone new? (:
EDIT : OKAY, I LOOK LIKE A HUGE WHORE. But if someone is laying it all on you and does everything to turn you on, you'd have trouble resisting too. i can't really justify what i did, and i feel really awkward about the whole thing.