Nyegh.

Riku's picture

I'm stupid.

But it doesn't bother me any more.

I'm not IN love you know. I just love. It's stupid because I told myself to get over him, and I guess I did. But I love him now and it scares me a little because his life is moving and mine... isn't.

He's getting surgery and going to college and I'm staying here hoping that I can find the money for surgery, so that I -can- get surgery too, but it probably won't be for a while. Then I'll go to college, but probably not the same one as him. And I want him to make friends when he gets to college but... I'm afraid he'll forget about me.

College does that to people.

If my other friends forget about me, oh well. But I don't want -him- to forget about me.

I hate when I get attached to people. I hate being reliant on something I can't rely on.

And I can't rely on people.

Because people are stupid and crazy and liars. He's not any of those, but he's still a person and he's subject to human emotions and when you're surrounded by new people you actually get along with it's easy to forget your old friends, or at least, lose touch.

Maybe I worry too much...

Comments

TotalGeek42's picture

Don't go thinking like that!

Don't go thinking like that! I don't see how he could forget you, and you will get your money for surgery and -get- the surgery before too long. And if that doesn't happen you have full permission to push me off the cliff of your choice. ^^

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

Riku's picture

I feel like he's going to go

I feel like he's going to go to college and make a ton of friends and I'll just be that kid he used to converse with.

I don't exactly have a huge self-esteem. >_>

And I know I'll get surgery but you know how it is, it's never soon enough. Also, why would I push you off of a cliff? I like you too much to push you off of a cliff, even a small one. You could get hurt or something.

TotalGeek42's picture

Meh, I don't see how that

Meh, I don't see how that could work... you're too fun to talk to. :P

I don't see why not. It's weird... all of the people who are really awesome have low self-esteems and all of the people who are jerks and just annoying have huge self-esteems... ><

Hahaha, fair enough... xDDD

The whole waiting thing does suck, though.. fleh..

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

fox333's picture

Don't worry. Just be

Don't worry. Just be yourself. I am sure that that is memorable enough. Not in a bad way though.
Also a jerk? Me?

A man is educated and turned out to work. But a woman is educated and turned out to grass.
Pearl S. Buck

Splash's picture

as far as hating getting too attached and whatnot...

I think I know EXACTLY how you feel.

*hugs*

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Wolfcry's picture

*hugs* its okay Ash. If you

*hugs* its okay Ash. If you have not had your sugery by the time I get famous, I'll be a good friend and buy it for you.

Rnadom thought from watching AFV: if a FTM gets hit in the groin does it debilitate you?

"Please hear what I'm not saying. Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask. I tell you everything thats really nothing, and nothing of whats everything, of whats crying within me." - Mask