Picked up a psychology book today in the library, guess what I learned about myself?

Dracofangxxx's picture

I show most of the symptoms of Manic-depression (bipolarity) and Major Clinical Depression. Not exactly sure if I can have both though.

I finally confirmed what I feared... I'm an emotional wreck. I feel a little proud that I was correct, but... If I really am not...

Then I'm just a bitch?

So scared. Anyways. Feeling... Numb again. It's like life fades away; a blur... I'm never sure what's dreams or reality... The only way I can tell the difference is if I have memories. That's how I tell.

I hate the memories though. I wish they were gone.

Comments

hellonwheels's picture

i know how you feel dude...

maybe you should try talking to somebody? or seeing a school counselor? it definitely helps. i realized i had depression issues as a young teen, and admitting i needed to talk to somebody helped a ton.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

jeff's picture

Well...

I'm not to fond of self-diagnosis, since you lack perspective.

I mean, if you read any horoscope in the morning paper, it sounds right. If you go on WedMD or somesuch, you can find a diagnosis for anything.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Splash's picture

bipolar...

I believe has periods of mania AND depression. Or occasionally elements of both at the same time (mixed state). So what you're saying about both disorders at once might be possible, it's just that they'd probably both fall under bipolar in that case. I think. I've gone through plenty of funky mental stuff myself (a lot of what you're saying rings bells), so I've read up on depression and a few other disorders more than once, but I'm not by any means a professional. Also, while reading can open you up to possible answers you didn't know were there, there's also the fact that Jeff has probably got a point about the self-diagnosis thing.

But if any of that helps at all. :-)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

jeff's picture

Not to mention...

The treatment for any of this stuff is medication anyway, which you can only get if you see someone.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

niks121997's picture

I echo...

...everyone's comments. Please consider talking to somebody, a counselor or something. One of the issues of self-diagnosis is you never can see the whole picture clearly, if at all, not to mention the complexities that go along with figuring things like diagnosis and course of action out. As for you thinking you're an emotional wreck, I hear that. The good thing is you don't have to stay that way, and given the resiliency of human nature, that adds another plus to the "I can be more okay" column.

If this makes any sense at all.

tenmilestilts's picture

i've been having emotional

i've been having emotional issues recently, and i've looked up bipolar disorder and whatnot, and despite the fact that *some* of my symptoms matched, i'm not making a conclusion either way. if you're truly concerned, you should talk to a doctor or counselor--there are medications for these kind of disorders and if you do have one, the meds can turn your life around (i have an aunt who's bipolar, and they've done wonders for her).
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Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!