so i finished the letter

lamb_da's picture

now i just need to give it to her

i'm scared

i avoided her all day

i'm probably going to avoid her all week

how can people stand doing this?

the entire day people have been asking me

if i'm okay, but i dont even want to say it

it feels so unreal

that i'm breaking up with her

god, i'm such a coward


jeff's picture


Why a letter? Better to do it face to face, no?

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

swimmerguy's picture


For one, I don't think you're a coward. Breaking up is hard to do.
But staying in a relationship you don't want to be in is not good for either parties. I understood THAT when I had a girlfriend.

And also, please don't get low self-esteem issues. Thinking you're a horrible person makes you no better.
It's counterproductive.
What you need is action. Think about what situation you're in, and think about what you can do to fix it, and you must steel yourself for the results. Even if she has a bad reaction, you had good intentions and were trying to do the best thing for both of you, and you should not put yourself down for that.

Keep in mind, this is just what I would do in this situation. It may not work for you.
However, it did work for me, when I had to tell my girlfriend I was gay. I expected bad results and MAN, she did NOT dissapoint. It was worse than I imagined it would be, but I got over it and I see that I was always trying to do the best thing for everyone, and so I have no regrets.

"I bust mine so I can kick yours" ~ design on a swimming t-shirt

jeff's picture


Reading your previous entries, I'm confused.

You seem to question why SHE wants to be with YOU. That's sort of not your problem. That's her side of the relationship.

Why don't YOU want to be with HER? That is the only side you control.

In successful relationships, you only get to play your side, not both. The upside is you don't ever have to find yourself worthy of being dated, since you never have to date you. But hey, if she digs it, just be glad she has lower standards than you ;-)

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

tenmilestilts's picture

See, this is the issue...if

See, this is the issue...if we went to the same school, I could shove you over to her to take care of it, and you could shove me over to K to tell her. I need somebody to force me to do things like that that I don't want to do, and it sounds like you do too.
So, even though this will have maybe 1% of the effectiveness I wish it did, *big fat shove towards her along with whispered encouragement to just get it over with*
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

AlwaysFallingDeeper's picture


“Love's not a competition but I'm winning"

You're not a coward and I understand the note thing cause its extremely hard to do it face to face. I hope it goes much as it can anyways.

Fiona Rosge's picture

i think

i'm sorry its a hard thing, and I'm sure you do feel pretty scared, but if you REALLY don't want to be with her...then in the ends its best for both of you. I remember the ONE time I broke up with someone (who I didn't really consider myself to be dating anyway) I called them on the phone and told him maybe we should be friends, he flipped out, it was rediculous but that guy had major issues and it doesn't mean yours could go that way....
I suggest maybe you take that approach, because I think if I was in that possition I would rather be broken up with any other way. Over e-mail, on the phone, by a friend even maybe (althought that would be major weakness on their part and would later leave to confrentaion) then over a note. It seems to lack the emotion and kindness and everything that started the relationship in the first place,
but a better question is
Come Josephine in my flying machine
Going up she goes up she goes
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes there she goes
Up, up, a little bit higher
Oh, my, the moon is on fire