This is a sad story...

ferrets's picture

*gasp*

i can hardly belive it. i...i cried a little near the end...

Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'

Dracofangxxx's picture

the dad sounds like an

the dad sounds like an ass... personally...
-
Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...

ShowMeLove's picture

Hah

"I just want my normal gay son back."

The Onion is awesome.

Wolfcry's picture

. . . my laptop was a bitch

. . . my laptop was a bitch and wouldn't let me see it. What was it about?

"Oh what tangled webs we weave, When we practice to deceive. I know you well, Actions and motives. Bear the cross, wear the crown, it's just some evil you can't bleed out. Hell has to notice, Your actions and motives." 10 Years, Actions And Motives

5thstory's picture

It's a heart-wrenching news

It's a heart-wrenching news article about a gay guy that's becoming a far-right, born again, orthodox catholic. Absolutely dramatic.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Splash's picture

Heart-wrenching?

It's the Onion. Satire. It's the "good Christian boy realizes he might be gay" tale turned completely on its head for fun.

I liked it, though. It was funny. :-)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

jeff's picture

I did...

shrink the URL so no one saw it was the onion before clicking...

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

5thstory's picture

Don't use bit.ly for

Don't use bit.ly for shrinking stuff and keeping it secret- most people using Firefox will get a preview of the website, and The Onion's icon is pretty noticeable.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

5thstory's picture

My bad, I guess: I can't

My bad, I guess: I can't quite convey irony in writing without missing the irony altogether or insulting someone. Désolé.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

kyle hearts you's picture

Damn!

They've recruited another one! This is why fundamentalist Christians shouldn't be allowed near children. All they want to do is turn normal gay kids into (shudders) breeders.

patnelsonchilds's picture

Another Layer Peeled Away Reveals....

...absolutely nothing, but it certainly did bring tears to my eyes.

As with every other piece I've had the misfortune to read in 'The Onion' over the past six or seven years...this dreadful attempt to produce biting satire and adroit irony managed to accomplish neither. Rather, it came off as yet another insipid bit of hackneyed tripe, with not one trace of cleverness or subtlety, which mercilessly milked every drop of stale humor from its single, uninspired and unoriginal joke...twist...call it what you will; The Twilight Zone did it far better 40 years ago.

In better hands (say, any 12-year-old who'd ever picked up and read a copy of Mad Magazine), it may have been given some fresh bite, some social relevance or, dare one even hope, some actual humor. Unfortunately, no such erudite youth was apparently available, and so this latest bit of "milk snarf" by the humorists at 'The Onion' will join the rest of the publication's pathetic output in its quest to gradually erode all traces of witty, intelligent, edgy and (perhaps worst of all) genuinely funny satire and parody from the realm of public discourse. I sincerely hope that they fail at this. It would be such a shame if that were the only thing they managed to successfully accomplish.

Was I too ambiguous?

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

jeff's picture

I don't think you get it...

See, normally, the story would be that a Christian boy turned gay, but they turned that whole scenario on its ear and, in their telling, where they cleverly don't tip their hat that the entire apple cart has been overturned in the name of humor, they make a gay boy turn Christian...

Now do you get it?

I'm sure you're kicking yourself now that I explained it.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

elph's picture

I have to agree...

...with Pat's comments. Don't get me wrong... it's a fun read. But there was little believability in its telling. It, indeed, was satire; but with no essence of its even being remotely real!

jeff's picture

Umm...

I think a fun read is good enough. I've never wanted to cut out an Onion article and keep it so I don't forget it. ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

patnelsonchilds's picture

I got it

I just didn't want it,

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

jeff's picture

Aww...

I was hoping I could set you off again. ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

patnelsonchilds's picture

You mean get me off, you

You mean get me off, you perv. :P

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

jeff's picture

Well...

That would make the "again" troubling.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

patnelsonchilds's picture

What? Now you don't

What? Now you don't remember?

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

swimmerguy's picture

Hrmph

Harsh much?

"The sole right of a human being is the right to do whatever you damn well please. Their sole duty is to take responsibility for their actions" ~ P.J. O'Rourke

tenmilestilts's picture

mm, no ambiguity there. i

mm, no ambiguity there. i disagree, however. i think that the onion maybe doesn't have a point to get across, but honestly, isn't that kind of the point? the onion is a parody on regular tabloids in that it turns everything on its head--it's not trying to make the world a better place, just a more amusing one.
---
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

rythmn_n_rhyme_grrl's picture

I thought it was quite

I thought it was quite amusing. I have a soft spot for satire.

jeff's picture

Shh....

You'll wake up sourpuss.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

oldfoxbob's picture

OMG

Pat Robinson made him sign a pact with the devil...I knew it...I knew it...,.LOL Good article by the onion...but ...its the onion...LOL Thanks Jeff.
OFB

Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense. Humor is the best pain pill.

fox333's picture

I didn't look up or anything

I didn't look up or anything so I didn't realize it was the onion until I read all the comments on here. I did like all the onion stuff I have seen before (all like one of them) but this one was just ok.

A man is educated and turned out to work. But a woman is educated and turned out to grass.
Pearl S. Buck