I started talking about clothing with one of my friends and she asked if I had any straight-leg jeans..
She asked if I was too cool for them. I told her the truth; I can't wear them cuz they make me remember that I hate my body.
She started to go on about how it doesn't make sense that I can wear skinny jeans, baggy jeans are more flattering, blahblahblah...
They're not. Skinny jeans are tight everywhere... baggy jeans are baggy, on me, everywhere except for my thighs... that makes it -really- stick out that my thighs are bigger than they should be.. which makes me want to stab something.
She tried to keep arguing with me, and I just exploded at her. I can't talk about stuff like that... it makes me think about stuff that I hate thinking about and it made me honestly want to punch the computer screen. I feel bad for exploding at her, but I honestly think I know what the hell I'm talking about... I have to deal witht his crap every second of my frigging life for hte next year and a half because my therapist is to goddamned lazy to just make sure that no endo would be willing to help me..
I mean, I know it's a little bit too soon since I've come out for me to start T anywho, but a few months is astronomically better than a year and a half..
Anyways.. I dunno. I just can't have a level-headed discussion about something like that. And it pisses me off... ><
In other news, I can hardly even wear a t-shirt anymore cuz either I feel like my binder isn't working well enough and I still have chestage showing or my binder is folded over a few times and there's a really conspicuous stripe running across my chest... I dunno what I'm gonna do in spring and summer... maybe I should get a new binder... ugh. ><