It's a cloudy day today. I got high last night, accidentally, off of the White-out fumes from making a gigantic poster. I have a headache. I took an ibuprofen to try and curb it, but it's not working yet. I can't stop listening to Zox. I missed them.
Short sentences much?
You know how in Hercules, how he's all "I NEED TO GO THE DISTANCE! To find where I BELONG!"
Yeah, I feel like that right now. Where DO I belong? I thought I knew, I thought it was here, but there's something out there calling me away from where I'm sitting. Is it the sky, the space, the cosmos? Or something stronger? I could be like Flapjack and be like "ADVEEEENTURE!" but I'm not that cute, or that awesome. I want to run, run until my lungs are aching and my legs collapse beneath me and I'll lay down on the ground where I fall and just look up to the sky. I'll lay there until the rain comes and I'll cry, cry for you, cry for home, and cry for what could have been.
Tell me, Jonah, can I make you love me again? No. Tell me, Jonah, can I make you laugh and smile again? No. Tell me, Jonah, why do you love Brea more than you loved me?
Nevermind, I take that back.
It's one of those days. The one where I draw and erase and draw and erase and get frustrated and rip the paper up into shreds. The one where I can only write because that's all I feel like doing, writing and getting it all out of my system. I feel like draining, like letting myself bleed out and just cry and lay in the streets naked. I want to feel powerless. I want someone to help me. I want to sleep. I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home!
Come rain, come soon. I miss the feeling of tears on my face that aren't mine.