Today's a great day with a stressful ending. We'll start at the beginning.
I slept in until seven, an hour later than my usual. When I finally awoke, sat up in my bed and rubbed the clutches of sleep and the leftover nighttime out of my eyes, I noticed how awfully beautiful the sunrise was, shining dimly through my window.
I was glad I didn't have my lamp plugged in, because I had missed this beauty for too long. I may sleep in more often, just to see that. The way the room was just faintly lit, the sky a light pink color... It was gorgeous.
So I got out of bed, got dressed, and brushed my teeth, no time for breakfast today... Or doing my hair. I sat at the computer and drew. I started recalling my dream, as I usually do when I finally awake all the way. I had another nightmare, a familiar one, too. I have dreams where I'm underwater, and either I can breathe and am watching myself die, or I cannot and I get trapped and then die and awake next to my body, able to breathe.
I have a fear of water. I always have. I could never figure out why, if it was ingrained because of a slightly traumatic experience from a young age (I jumped off of a divingboard, only to hit my head on the bottom of the ten-foot deep pool... And passed out. I awoke slightly later thrashing at the bottom in blackness and had to swim up while choking. It was hard to figure out which way was up, and what way was down... I was around six maybe...) or if it was something more... I don't know *shrug*. Either way... I really dislike swimming in open water where I can't touch bottom or sides....
Sorry, Chad, I know you're probably disgusted by my hate of swimming XD
But don't get me wrong, I love the water! I just... get freaky in not-shallow pools... or lakes... or oceans XD
So yeah, then I went to school, and when I got off my bus and started walking to class, I talked to C the whole way. She's so funny! We talked about clothing and mornings and waking up her mom and how she's very cranky so she gets her evil sister to do it for her cuz that way she can still laugh at it and not get busted...
So cute when she laughs, her smile is amazing...
So yeah, that was very excellent.
Mr. Crazy-sub played accordion for us in reading period, that was epic. He played/sang "When the Saints come marching in" XD
I had an orchestra concert a little bit ago. I loved it. I love music so freaking much, it's like my life ;A; I think I did good!
So I was riding home in the car, and I hung out the window like I always do when I'm feeling very happy. The feeling of the cool night air rushing around me, the smells of the outside... It's exhilarating. I began to feel nostalgic, like I was missing something that I shouldn't be, like I've felt all this before and it's calling me back, back to a life I've forgotten... I'm a believer in reincarnation, at least a little bit. Sometimes I just get that feeling that I've lived before and I've just forgot them all before. I dunno, that's silly isn't it...?
But either way, nature does that to me. It's like a link with every past moment I may have missed. I feel like I owe life something, like I have always had a mission to help it, to live with it. To be connected. It's hard to explain. You know how in Avatar they like, link with the tree of life thingy and can hear their ancestors? Nature does that, it makes me feel in tune with a force I cannot really explain... Like it's part of me, it IS me, and we are one, and it can understand me better than anybody in the world.
So hard to explain. But it feels beautiful.
Sometimes I picture death to just be this feeling of spreading out, back into the earth, and becoming one with it... And then you get to decide what you'll be reincarnated as. Sorta like a video game XD I feel like I am everyone, I am them and they are me and I'm just waking up everyday in this body because I choose to. I'm such a strange thinker...
Anyways, it's a bit stressful because I'm in mah monthlies painy week and a half... >_<
And one side of my headphones is BROKEN and doesn't WORK and RARGH that angers the hell outta me! And my friend T is getting cheated on by his girlfriend and that ANGERS THE HELL OUTTA ME TOO (cuz I like him a little .__.;;) because he really doesn't deserve that! He's a great guy, really nice and really caring. He gave me some pop-tarts at the concert for... Some reason? >___O
Either way, I should go to bed... I am tired and in a great mood, so I hope to have good dreams tonight.
Comments would be a lovely surprise, to tell me about maybe what you think death would be like or what your favorite hobby is or anything, tell me anything, I'd love to talk to you.
I love you all. Remember that <3
it is time to say