Fuck.

Dracofangxxx's picture

I had just written out a LONG ASS thing that was very poetic and nice, and now I have to do it again.

Rargh.

I'm mixed up inside. Think of trail mix. The nuts, the raisins, the chocolate. All mixed. You get a handful and never know exactly what you're gonna be eating until you put it in your mouth...

The anger, the frustration I feel lately is uncontrollable. Yet, I've never loved myself more. I'm back. Back to what I used to be, who I used to be. I am myself!

...Although, nothing would quite bring a smile stretching across my bleak face like grabbing Jonah and Brea and sinking my teeth into their soft necks, digging them deep into their flesh as the hot blood ran past my teeth and down my aching, parched throat. I'd fill my hunger as they choked and cried out gurgled pleas of fear and pain...

Oopsie-daisy, did I get morbid again? Hehe.

It's just one of those days, I guess, where I live more inside my head than the world around me. Fuzzy, you could call it, fuzzy and like dreaming but clear, lucid thoughts. My eyes almost becoming smudged windows to the outside world, ones I cannot open, ones I cannot break. The only sounds I can hear are the echoes of a solemn soul screaming out for help and peace, but all I can do are prompt my fingers to move and type the words I've been waiting forever to say, forever to hear.

Redemption is coming, and I'm not sure how. Maybe I'm a beast, a monster... Something.... Bad, something really bad is going to happen, and I'm scared, scared that it's me, scared that it's NOT me.

Change. Change is scary. Whatever happens, don't you guys leave me. Please.

Comments

swimmerguy's picture

WOAH...

I'm sorry, but that is INCREDIBLY creepy. Seriously...
That much hate is unhealthy.

"Words are useless, especially sentences. They don't stand for anything. How can they explain how I feel?"~Madonna, Bedtime Story

Dracofangxxx's picture

I had a feeling you'd get

I had a feeling you'd get creeped out. Now do you understand why I leave the lunch table sometimes? Because I get so frustrated and angry! I've got the most terrible temper issues. You've never seen me snap, thank god, it's quite freaky. I bite people D: Literally.
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There isn't a sharp line dividing humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. It's a very wuzzie line...and it's getting wuzzier all the time. - Jane Goodall.

elph's picture

Huh?

Was there an explanation in there, someplace?

Shelby: Without leaving any fang marks... just decide exactly what you'd like to have happen. Work out a calm and rational means for making it so.

Then, make it happen. But leave no bruised bodies in the wake!

jeff's picture

Err...

I look at the trail mix in my hand before I put it in my mouth.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Dracofangxxx's picture

Jeff it's a metaphor, be

Jeff it's a metaphor, be nice :C
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There isn't a sharp line dividing humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. It's a very wuzzie line...and it's getting wuzzier all the time. - Jane Goodall.