I had just written out a LONG ASS thing that was very poetic and nice, and now I have to do it again.
I'm mixed up inside. Think of trail mix. The nuts, the raisins, the chocolate. All mixed. You get a handful and never know exactly what you're gonna be eating until you put it in your mouth...
The anger, the frustration I feel lately is uncontrollable. Yet, I've never loved myself more. I'm back. Back to what I used to be, who I used to be. I am myself!
...Although, nothing would quite bring a smile stretching across my bleak face like grabbing Jonah and Brea and sinking my teeth into their soft necks, digging them deep into their flesh as the hot blood ran past my teeth and down my aching, parched throat. I'd fill my hunger as they choked and cried out gurgled pleas of fear and pain...
Oopsie-daisy, did I get morbid again? Hehe.
It's just one of those days, I guess, where I live more inside my head than the world around me. Fuzzy, you could call it, fuzzy and like dreaming but clear, lucid thoughts. My eyes almost becoming smudged windows to the outside world, ones I cannot open, ones I cannot break. The only sounds I can hear are the echoes of a solemn soul screaming out for help and peace, but all I can do are prompt my fingers to move and type the words I've been waiting forever to say, forever to hear.
Redemption is coming, and I'm not sure how. Maybe I'm a beast, a monster... Something.... Bad, something really bad is going to happen, and I'm scared, scared that it's me, scared that it's NOT me.
Change. Change is scary. Whatever happens, don't you guys leave me. Please.