I'm feeling a lot better now

Riku's picture

Thanks everyone who commented on my last journal. :)

I'm still sick though. I don't know if I can go to school because as of right now a binder hurts. (It usually doesn't, it's just wildly uncomfortable) I would be fine if the binder thing wasn't an issue... But it is. And I can't not wear a binder because even if I'm showing a tiny tiny bit, I feel like everyone sees double D's (which I don't even have), and can see them, clearly. It might be stupid but that's how it feels. So I'm not going out without a binder on because even with three shirts and a sweater it still shows a little and I can't deal with that.

So yeah. I'll probably go anyway because I'm sick of missing school. But hell. I'll be impressed if I make it through the day without passing out/having a breakdown.

This dysmorphia is going to be the death of me. XP

EDIT: So my dad is letting me stay home sick another day because we don't have a magical pill that'll make my chest vanish or anything. So yeah. I'll just go in tomorrow and get a ton of make-up work to do over the weekend. Whatever.

EDIT AGAIN: (because I feel like an ass posting a bajillion journals a day) I just sent Long-distance-boy (aka the reason that thing with Blackbelt didn't work out.) a friend request on facebook. I wanted to a while ago but I didn't because I was still GUH EMOTIONAL then. :P But now that I'm not jealous anymore I mean. He seems like a neat person from what I've heard, and I feel weird having heard so much about him but not ever having spoken to him. Haha. So I figured I might as well attempt to get in touch with him.

Plus, the more selfish side of me is deadly curious as to weather Blackbelt has ever said anything about me to Long-distance-boy. And he better have because the fact that they now both know how the other one feels was almost entirely my doing. I don't think Blackbelt was even planning on telling LDB until I was like "DUDE. YOU DID NOT REJECT ME OVER SOME GUY WHO DOES NOT EVEN KNOW YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM." Well, not exactly like that, but you get the idea.

Comments

TotalGeek42's picture

Mine's getting painful

Mine's getting painful too... usually it's not, but today my ribs decided to make it hard to breath... No fun. ><

Dysphoria(or dysmorphia.. whatever) sucks. Majorly. ><

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

Riku's picture

XP No kidding. I hate it.

XP No kidding. I hate it. Hate it so much. I'll be so relieved when it's not a problem anymore. |D

I think dysphoria refers to the feeling (with euphoria being the polar opposite) and dysmorphia is more specific, referring to having the 'wrong shape' I suppose, as the word implies. But either way, yes it does. XP

TotalGeek42's picture

Ahh, that makes sense...

Ahh, that makes sense... either way works. xD

Yeah.. I just wish I could be at that point now. Well... not before my friends who have been waiting longer, but sooner than I -will- be there, in any case. >>

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory