Just... tired of it

TotalGeek42's picture

I'm tired of life at this point. It's just the same thing over and over.. never anything different. Just.. wake up, go to school, go to art school, get home, do homework, go to karate, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, gotobed... over and over and over and over...

I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut... and it's not gonna change for a year and a half. I should clarify.. no, screw that. I'm just tired of looking in the mirror every night and wanting to scream,and I'm tired of nothing newhappening... sure, nothing goes wrong... but nothing goes -right- either. Everything just is andI'm tiredof it. I want -something- to happen. Anything would be better than this..

Oh, and as for other little obnoxious things?

The debate I tried to get in on; I've pointed out three times so far that I'm yet to hear of a doctor that allows you to get transitional surgery before 16. Nobody responded to anything else I said, either...

A girl came up to me yesterday and told me she referenced me... at art school when somebody was trying to get into the character of a girl dressed as a boy she told them to think of me. That's just an invasion of my privacy..

Lunc today: I was sitting at my table and had a conversation something like this:

B: "Blahblahblahblahblah girrrlllll
Me: I'm not a girrrlllll
B: Boyyyy... sort offf... girllll... somethingggg
Me: Annoyed silence.

And then he just looked at me as if he had done nothing wrong.

I'm fricking sick of this. Tomorrow I have asnow day,and I'm hella glad. I just.. ugh. Get me out of this fricking life.

OHNOWAIT. I left out the best part. My computer is dead. the only reason I'm on right now is that my mum is at some meeting or another. Tomorrow during the snow day I won't have a computer.. I know it's horrid to say,but... I don't even know.

frickingasdfasdjghasuihtsaiudtggfvbhjkf;u8gsjnw.

Screw this.

Sorry for the angry rant.

Comments

tenmilestilts's picture

*hugz* don't apologize. we

*hugz*
don't apologize. we all need angry rants every now and again. sorry for all the screwiness. =/ i know how you feel. and you know what i do to get out of a rut like that?
do something new! surprise yourself.
take a walk through your neighborhood (great thing to do when it's snowy). learn a new skill on youtube. organize a massive snow party at your house. whatever you think might wake you up a little bit and have some fun.
---
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

TotalGeek42's picture

I've done all of that

I've done all of that recently...the issue is that's just a temporary fix. A one day thing, if that... and then it's just back to the same thing. And it's driving me crazy...

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

ferrets's picture

hmmmmm

welllll on the upside, you know me, and im the best person eever :)

if your ever super sad, just rember, you could have been a blowjob.

TotalGeek42's picture

Hahaha, fair enough.

Hahaha, fair enough. xD

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

fox333's picture

Hmm.... all I have is my

Hmm.... all I have is my same old meditation suggestion.

I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.
- Langston Hughes

Riku's picture

Ohman. I know -exactly- the

Ohman.

I know -exactly- the feeling you're talking about. From the "boysortof" stuff that makes you want to punch people, to the feeling like life isn't getting anywhere. Just hang in there dude. It may not feel like it but you're getting somewhere. Every day you get through is a day closer to righting things, I know it's hard when you've got such a long wait, I remember waiting for testosterone. And I've been waiting for surgery for a long time now. But you'll get there. For now just try to enjoy each day for what it is and don't focus too much on the waiting. Easier said than done I know but...

My GSA used to imply that I didn't count as a boy -all of the goddamn time- drove me nuts. (It's funny though because my friends outside of GSA actually get it.) Be sure that you make it very clear to people that, that stuff is not okay. A lot of the time they don't even realize that what they're saying is insanely offensive.

TotalGeek42's picture

Thanks. I know I shouldn`t

Thanks. I know I shouldn`t be too worried about waiting, but I`m going crazy. ><

And I try to say something, but I`m really, -really- bad at people... ><

"Assets, assets..." "Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..." "Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory

Riku's picture

Oh no, I understand. It's

Oh no, I understand. It's hard. XP I mean, take it from someone who's been there, I KNOW. But chin-up, there's a lot of good in life too so just do your best to focus on that. You'll get there.

And yeah, I'm really -really- bad at people too. I'm a prime example of someone who needs to take his own advice.

TotalGeek42's picture

Yeah, yeah. Usually I`m

Yeah, yeah. Usually I`m good enough at that, just every once in a while it gets too hard to think about the good stuff. :/

Lol, we should come up witha "get better at people" system. xD

"Assets, assets..." "Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..." "Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory