hey there everyone
I'm 23 and I've been struggling for years with accepting myself. I always liked girls but for unknown reason to me some how in the transition between the public school and the catholic school systems I became ashamed and afraid of my attraction to women so I started dating boys like crazy, getting a new boyfriend every month, this has been going on for the most part since I was 11 years old.between 15-18 I came out to pretty much everyone in my life, close friends, not so close friends, family, the whole high school, college, my doctors... everyone but myself. Even know at 23 I have a very hard time accepting I have no sexual or romantic attraction to men and that they actually turn me off... Did anyone else have trouble fully coming out to themself? like I can't seem to do it and I don't understand why, I know the only thing wrong about how I feel is the shame and fear. I did get a LOT of negative feedback when I came out from almost everyone and I partially think that made it harder for em to accept and made me continue to try and date men, but I'm 23 and tired of lying to myself but I don't know what to do to get started in the right direction anymore. Can anyone help me?