What would you have said?

ShowMeLove's picture

I had a kinda weird conversation with this girl I know from school, today. We were talking while waiting for our rides and she's joking around, and then she starts in about how she doesn't like emo kids and she hopes her boys don't grow up to be emos; AND then she says "I think I'm losing the older one already. I caught him the other day kissing his friend; His friend is a boy. Yeah, I had to sit him down and give him a talk and tell him that boys don't kiss other boys." Then I believe she said, "But he's like 'But boys need love too, Mom!'" Then she laughed and I laughed a little out of nervousness and awkwardness. Then she goes on, "Yeah, and he's like 'Mom, I want a pink shirt' and I'm like 'Noooo'" Then she goes on to laugh some more.

I think her son is, like, 5 years old. I was so surprised that she'd tell me something like that. I was so stunned and taken aback by it and I didn't really know what to say or how to react. You know? I wanted to say something and show her that I'm not homophobic and that I thought what her son did was okay, but I couldn't figure out how to say it. And I'll admit I was a bit scared to say anything. She didn't sound that angry or anything. She was kind of a mix of being serious and then joking/laughing about it. So, I'm not really sure if she's a homophobe or just sort of a concerned mother. If there's even a difference :P

But, like, what could I say to her to make her see that I'm not a homophobe, and that I think gay people are okay? I'm not ready to come right out to her because I hardly know her, but I do want her to know that I'm not a homophobe.


ferrets's picture


perants like to from this image of there kids growing up and being steriotypical wife and two kiids family. most dont think. hmmm i wonder if my son is goig to like guys when hes older when they have him, they more think. ohhh i hope he has pretty kids. so probley not so much a homophobe as a misguided perant. if i were you id talk to her and tell her that she could really make her son feel bad and push him away by saying things like that and trying to supress his differtness.

if your ever super sad, just rember, you could have been a blowjob.

Invictus's picture

Well, I've encountered

Well, I've encountered situations where my friends are being their homophobic selves and I've stuck up for what I believe even though they don't know of my sexuality. In that particular situation I'd probably be a little goofy, but serious as well. That is just sort of how my personality is and I play off stereotypes a lot because my friends tend to respond well, instead of becoming defensive. If I were in this situation I would've probably focused on a less important aspect first like saying nicely "Aw, let him get the pink shirt... Wearing the color doesn't mean anything anyway. Just be happy you might have a son who has some fashion sense!" I've tried getting all serious before and saying things like "Well, you shouldn't have a problem if he is gay. There is nothing wrong with it." and if you don't know a person well enough to know their feelings on homosexuality... it can go very badly and they become defensive immediately. Just be subtle in whatever you say =) You don't have to shove it down a person's throat that you're not homophobic... just make them aware =)