Drugs- The Most Stupid Thing You Can Rely On (An essay on the dangers of self-pity)

Tophat's picture

I have far too many friends who take away their troubles with drugs.

Morphine, Weed, Cocaine, Melange; it's all the same at the base. An escape.

Well guess what, my pretties. You can't escape. There's going to be a point where the real world crashes around you- whether you get crushed or not depends on your alternate reality.

Let's be brutal: the most pathetic thing you can do to escape is takes drugs. Escape in itself is cowardly! We, as humans, must find a point where we FACE the pain as opposed to flee from it.

I've made a discovery about myself- I can't remember if I've made it before, but it's hit me hard this time. I've lived my life in a constant state of self-pity. Self-loathing, blah blah blah, it's all about the fact that I was miserable and was too lazy to fix it. So instead, I settled for hating myself. I was playing the part of a martyr, and looking back, I'm disgusted by my own actions. I refused help, only to bemoan my pain and how lonely I was. I was, in fact, surrounded by people who wanted to help me!

With this in mind, I'm looking around at all these people who can help me. May I say, it's exhilirating! (Note to Jeff- get a damned spell-check on this site.) I'd like to thank those of you who've stood by me- please, don't let me fall from this spot to where I was. Not again.

Back to drugs. I have a dear friend who solves pain- physical and emotional- with morphine and other drugs. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Physical pain, good, fine, right. It's perscribed. But emotional pain?


There comes a point where I have found a light. The world is not to be dulled. Life must be experienced to its fullest potential- dulling the pain will inevitably dull the pleasure. And, perhaps, to those of us who lived behid the walls there is to be a certain pleasure to the very sharpness of that pain. The heights of pleasure to the depths of torment, the world mus be felt. We cannot live in the shallows, that is not living!

And life in the shadows, I believe, often stems from self-pity.

Tear down the wall!


swimmerguy's picture


That could have been written by me.
I totally respect that.
I have to give you a Good Job.

Hai-kus are ea-sy
But some-times they don't make sense

Tophat's picture


That means a lot, actually.

And I love the Haiku. XD


I love you.

Uncertain's picture

I agree... in fact

I have a very good friend who I just talked to a while ago actually. She spent all her savings, Christmas and birthday money on ecstasy. She cannot sleep, lost so much weight, admits her short term memory is fucked up, and feels completely hopeless. Yeah, drugs suck, it was her choice, but there's no denying that.

The thing is, she was just a 'normal' person. It's scary how it can affect anyone. To be honest, I could also be down a very different path right now.

Oh yeah, and it's not cool when you self-righteously refuse help when others try and help you. But it's okay, I do it all the time as well.

Just Dave's picture

I agree

Thank you for writing this. Here I was thinking that maybe I was the only young person who gave a crap about drugs.

jeff's picture


Drug don't remove or change anything, only distract.

As for a spell checker, I did this weird thing where I just learned how to spell words correctly. But I'll put it in queue for the next rev of Oasis.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

ferrets's picture


i agree to. humans are a creature of the moment. it feels right to do what feels good right now, and not look at the big picture. if i did everything i wanted to do right now, it would screw my future over.

"...I find it kinda funny,I find it kinda sad, that the dreams where i am dieing are the best I've ever had..." -gary jules

elph's picture

Very commendable decision...

...but all-too-rarely-followed by today's youthful (and not too youthful) society.

In at least this one aspect of guiding your maturation, your parents have set a good example... a bit more practical than admonishing you for leaving stray yogurt cups in your wake :(

Tophat's picture

If you were talking to me...

My dad was a total hippie when he was young, he obviously did drugs. I've seen pics. You don't look like that when your brain is fully functional.

And the yogurt cups- I get that admonishment too much. Is it really that much of a problem that I love yogurt, but forget to throw out the cups? It's not like I leave them to rot, only a day passes at most. Sheesh.


I love you.

openaboutit's picture

Can lead to more trouble

I really your friends are really careful cuz even if it dosnt hurt there health to much yet that can get into alot of trouble.

I was there like 5 months ago doing more drugs than I ever have and I was arrested Apr 1st of all days. I am still going thru all the legal issues now.

Just getting caught with the drugs(they dont even have to be on you)can destroy your life even if the drugs themselves havent yet. But rite now all you can do is be there friend. Alot of people cant stop till they hit rock bottom or a professional helps them. If you can try a be as best a friend as you can through all these troubles.