For the Bible Tells Me So...

justAdude's picture

So I've been putting off telling my grandparents about be being gay. I think I've finally worked up the courage to go ahead and release this "big secret". I'm staying with them for Spring Break now, and I thought about just sitting down with them to watch "For the Bible Tells Me So" and then explaining to them about myself. Background on my grandparents...it's my grandmother, and great-grandmother. And both are pretty religious, but my great-grandmother is more so religious, and is also pretty strong minded. My thought is that the movie will give them something better to relate with/understand where I'm coming from. I've also talked with my mother about this, and she thinks that I should just wait until I'm getting ready to leave, so as not to deal with much of anything, if anything comes up as a result of me telling them. I'm here for a week and this is just the first day.
I just wanted to know from people who have seen the movie, or people who have done something similar to this...Is this a good plan? What do you think about it? Could I go about doing it another way?
And if you've done something similar to this...what was your outcome?

Thanks people! :)

Just Dave's picture

First off...

Saw the movie. Amazing friggin movie. I think it holds a pretty convincing argument, and could definitely be used to help your grandparents and great grandparents to come around.

But about your little situation... well, I'm not so sure. This is probably going to sound really bad, but I would put a lot of thought about coming out to your great-grandmother. Let me explain.

If she is older and not in good health, I would just focus on spending time with her. Yes, honesty is important, but things could go very awry in this situation if she does not react well. And, to be blunt, you could not have much time to reconcile if it turns out badly.

Of course, it is still your decision, and I'm sorry if I presume too much about your family. But I think it is important to remember that this is a lot different than coming out to other family members.

Good luck, however you choose.

jeff's picture

Hmm...

I never saw this movie, but I do think there is a natural tendency of religious people to disbelieve anything that tries to disprove things they believe of in the Bible (I say it that way, since everyone already ignores some parts on their own, but tend to leave other parts as the spoken, unerring word of God).

So, it's not a matter of whether the movie is put together well, or effective, just whether they will react to it positively.

Of course, there may be no escape if you do show it to them. I mean, what other motivation would you have but to be priming them for your own coming out? Just showing your religious relatives a documentary about how homosexuality isn't accurately referred to in the Bible on a whim?

And, if they do figure out your intention during the movie, then a lot of the points made in the movie won't be taken in, since they'll be thinking about you.

I don't know that there is an easy way for you to do this, but if it's important to you, you'll figure it out.

You already have your mother's support, so sounds like you're covered. Just tell them, and leave enough time for them to ask questions, maybe the movie after they know. Ultimately, you're not asking their permission, and you don't rely on them for support, so sounds easy enough.

Good luck.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

oldfoxbob's picture

Assuming

A terrible thing to do mind you. Assuming that your grandparents will watch the movie from start to finish. I know my father would not have watched any tv show, movie, or play that was against his beliefs. He would watch up to a point then storm over and turn the TV off saying that it was wrong, or incorrect or not true. That may happen to you. It would be better if your priest, minister or rabbi were to break the news to them if he/she is sympathetic to your cause. That way he/she would be able to show that the bible has other things to say. That God is a loving being and does not like bigotry in any form. Then again Leviticus has laws in there that are very staunch and unforgiving to some peoples mind. When religious bigots use it against me I in turn use it against them.
I would suggest sounding the grand parents out on the subject before you come out to them. You might loose any inheritance otherwise, if that is important to you. I think your mother is right and do it the day you are to leave or the night before if you decide to go thru with the movie idea. Sometimes movies are looked at as fiction and not fact which in most cases is true. Good luck which ever way you go. We are rooting for you.

Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense. Humor is the best pain pill.

stardust's picture

I've

seen that documentary. Funny it occurred to me to possibly show that to my parents one day if I came out and they pulled the religious card. It's a great documentary, but like FoxBob said, be careful about assuming that they'll watch it completely. Have a back up plan in mind. Another movie is Prayers for Bobby and the book, though I haven't read it yet. But Hopefully they'll watch the film you want to show them. It shows a lot about people who were formerly against it but came to realize that they were fighting the wrong thing and that they should be fighting against injustice, not against themselves or their families.

I hope it goes well. Good luck.