Addicted to the Kollaboration 10 performance of this song ;)
Woke up today in the best mood. Mmm! I feel like dancing!
There's a certain... Appeal to today. I wonder what's gonna happen?
Ahh, happy, happy, happy. There's such a love to the world that I'm feeling today, like everything isn't just gonna be ok, that it's already ok, in fact... Everything is already just AMAZING.
I think I should stop lying to myself about Jonah. I still... Well, I still want him. Not to say I still love him, I'm not sure about that. Being around him makes me feel awkward. But I just gotta remember that even if I was someone entirely different, we broke up for a reason. I'm stuck thinking about this alot. I realize everything I did wrong. I look back and go "Yeah, that... That was stupid.". I realize all of the fights we had were totally my fault, and he was right. Well ok, not all of them, but most. And Chad, before you start getting upset about this because I'm fretting about a middle school relationship... It felt like more than that to me. It really did. You'll understand someday.
"I knew I'd never forget you, so I went and let you blow my mind"
Odd, I'm happy but yet... But yet so upset about how I acted. I guess I'm stuck in the future now, with a brain thinking about the past. It's just a happy day. I don't know what to say, I just... I still miss him, miss everything. I feel like I need to talk to him. One on one...
I'm scared of him though...
I really loved him. I see that now. I truly, honestly, loved him, but beneath that I guess I hid myself... I was scared to lose who I loved, and yet, I was the thing that pushed him away. I learned my lesson, which is what I think was what needed to happen. Still, then why won't the feelings go away if my lesson has been learned?
I guess I just get stuck in my thoughts very easily. I talk about the same things too much. Is my life really that boring? :C
I am in an art block, which is why I've been writing and taking pictures so much. My interests go in rotations. Music's become really important, too. I think there's a certain peacefulness in getting up very early and sitting around listening to music... Mmm... Music is so heavenly. I dunno what I'd do without it. It's almost like an escape for me. Not just noise, an experience! I wonder if everyone feels like that? Or are there some people who are like "Music. Meh."
Hummm I should go get ready for school now... So I'll talk to you guys later! "Keep on trollin'!"