Kiddies (For Three) *No More*

Tophat's picture

Self-loathing and loathing of others go hand in hand. It's not my business announcing this.

Comments

jeff's picture

Well...

To quote Dan Savage, every relationship ends... until one doesn't.

To be fair, this is also why I don't date people in middle school anymore.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Nanook's picture

I pour out bull? Excuse

I pour out bull? Excuse me?

Anyway - middle school relationships are important, just like any relationship. Yea, you don't want to invest too heavily in a middle school relationship, but here's the kicker - you don't want to invest too heavily in any relationship. Relationships are sort of a balancing act. Do I wear my heart on my sleeve? But couldn't that freak him out? But then what if he ditches me because I don't seem interested in him?

So, this sociologist, Erik Erikson, devised the eight stages of development. One of them is adolescence, which spans the years between 12 and 18. So it looks like most of us here, middle schooler or high schooler, are in the same stage of development. Know what's the basic strength in this stage? Devotion and fidelity.

jeff's picture

Hmm...

I think there is an inherent problem in saying that, in hindsight, the relationships you have at any stage of development will be seen as trivial later in your life. While it may be true, the relationships you have now will help you arc toward the relationships you want later in life, by showing you things about yourself, things you need from others, and how to balance all of those things together.

If you only think that, at 30, you will look back at your relationship when you were 14, and think it was a bit silly, you deny the necessary foundational work that is occurring.

I think that people in my generation and older, who rarely came out in high school, and some not even in college, had more awkward dating and such when they did come out, because they sort of lacked that foundational knowledge of asking someone out, dating, and such.

In any event, you don't become a confident adult without learning your mistakes earlier. That said, trying to bypass this step just delays the mistakes, too. They will happen either way, no way around it.

I'd recommend having them earlier.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Tophat's picture

Hiss

I'm going to delete this post now, it was a rant of bitter self loathing and even more bitter loathing of everyone else. The two go hand in hand.

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I love you.

jeff's picture

Jeez...

If you're going to delete every post based on that criteria... ;-)

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Tophat's picture

You're right

Maybe I ought to get rid off all of them.

I'm sure Patll be more than willing to help.

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I love you.

jeff's picture

Personally...

I think the point of having an online journal is to be able to look back and say, "Wow, I was a bit of a cunt back then." Hopefully from a place that can't conceive of it anymore...

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain