Tophat's Post

Anonymous's picture

I removed Tophat's post to/about me with his permission. As I pointed out to him, since no one knows the history of our relationship, much of that post could easily be taken out of context. I keep everyone's personal shit to myself, which is one of the reasons you trust me. I expect you all to give me that same discretion.

I guess under the circumstances, I must also now reassure everyone that I am not in an inappropriate relationship with Tophat or any other underage kid. I can see how this post could easily look that way, which is why it royally pissed me off. It's bad enough that I am constantly prejudged just because I work with adolescents. Thoughtless posts like this on a public forum just reinforces people's prejudices, and makes it that much harder for me to help you guys.

So anyone who has made any sort of judgment about what you read, I ask you to rethink it. You got only part of a story that should have remained private. There's nothing about it that I need to be ashamed of. I just happen to think that personal relationships should remain personal, not offered up for public inspection.

HUGS,
Pat

Comments

Tophat's picture

Affirmative.

Though I disagree with him to an extent, he is right.

I'm fine with him deleting it, since it wwas very easily misinterpreted.

---

I love you.

Wolfcry's picture

I just sorta thought it was

I just sorta thought it was an disagreement between a "father" and his son. Mainly cuz I think of oasis as family...

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

jeff's picture

Yup...

Father, yes. Daddy, no. ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

patnelsonchilds's picture

It was, Wolfy, but I think

It was, Wolfy, but I think you guys sometimes lose sight of the fact that these posts are visible to everyone in the world, not just to other Oasians, who already know that we are a family.

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Wolfcry's picture

I mean no offence to those

I mean no offence to those of you on here who are "well aged" but I could NEVER refer to one of you as a "Daddy" in that sense, but some of you guys are like dads/fathers to us. Jeff, you are mom...

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

jeff's picture

I see...

the loophole you made for me there. Ha! ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Wolfcry's picture

omfg Jeff you are like

omfg Jeff you are like Michael Jackson sans tallent... o... m... g...

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

jeff's picture

Hey...

I'm just saying it was pretty clear... "I could never go after anyone I think of as a father figure... but Jeff is mommy." How else might one interpret that? ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Wolfcry's picture

Jeff remember I am GAY... If

Jeff remember I am GAY... If I think of you as mommy it means you are off limits forever...

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

patnelsonchilds's picture

Hey!

I think I would make an awesome sugar daddy...except for the fact that I don't have any sugar. :P

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

jeff's picture

Uhh...

Typically the more attractive part of the equation, no? ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

patnelsonchilds's picture

Sigh

I suppose. :(
_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Wolfcry's picture

pat... you are like my

pat... you are like my dad... if I think of you like that I will have fallen on my head and gotten amnezia...

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

patnelsonchilds's picture

Lol

I know, sweetheart. I was just kidding. I am very happy having you as a son.

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Wolfcry's picture

*feels all warm and fuzzy* I

*feels all warm and fuzzy* I love you as my pops, too.

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

jeff's picture

Ironically...

People who hear you work with teens always think it's dangerous/risky/hot, etc. But, the more you work with teens, the less you'd ever want to sleep with them. It's far easier to sexualize them if you don't know what's going on in their minds. ;-)

I do prefer methodology parity, though. If people are having a tiff in pm's, reply in pm's. E-mails, reply via e-mail, though. I imagined that Pat had deleted an earlier missive, which prompted Tophat to create a standalone reply, since this version was sort of like, err, what is this regarding, exactly?

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Icarus's picture

well pat, i already knew you

well pat, i already knew you were a pervert, but for much different reasons. (i.e. you're definitely no pedophile) <3

anywho, maybe i'm just used to the fact that most journals posted on here regarding stuff like that are in regards to something else entirely, so i never really got the vibe of "relationship issues", but yeah, i've noticed a lot of members seem to not know the basics of internet privacy.

and jeff, i dunno who'd ever think working with teens would be sexy, but by god you're right.

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

patnelsonchilds's picture

Beautiful

Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare; -Keats

Well, to wax classical for a moment, I find adolescents both beautiful and sexy. They are like flowers just beginning to open - innocent, but eager to experience life and love. For someone looking back on it, this has a very alluring and intoxicating essence. The problem is, there are too many people out there who can't just appreciate the innocence and beauty of youth without feeling the need to possess, exploit and destroy it. Those are the people I despise more than anything, and who I try very hard to protect you all from.

There's no magic age when you're too old to be manipulated and exploited anymore, but I think everyone should have at least a few years to explore adulthood, both the ups and the downs of it, without falling prey to people who want to use them to fulfill their own selfish needs. It makes me angry that so many of you aren't given that, and sad that I am unable to give it to you myself.

Yeah, yeah. I'm getting all emotional again. You guys do that to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are all beautiful and amazing. I am in awe of and inspired by every one of you, and I'll always love you, no matter what. I know - I say that all the time, but with so many of you on here, I figure there are always at least some of you who need to hear it again.

*HUGS*
Pat

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

elph's picture

An Admirable Sentiment...

...stated simply and concisely.

Of course, I'm obliged to concur unreservedly.

Possibly... with a minor shift in style (no criticism should be inferred): I prefer to have my nature revealed gradually over time through the totality of my selectively made (and I hope not too cryptic) comments.

I consider myself extremely fortunate to participate in your joys... and, hopefully, in the resolutions to (often inevitable) youthful misadventures: --- those inflicted upon oneself or by a gradually evaporating homophobic society.

elph

Wolfcry's picture

I don't know if I'm one of

I don't know if I'm one of your Older children on here or not Pat, but I think I lost my innocense LONG ago... I am sensitive to my surroundings, and the corruption of this world has tought me how to hate, how to fear, and how to be strong even when I want to cry. I learned all my life lessons early on, but I still have quite a few to go. I will face this world with my head held high, and my heart strong. I know that with ALL my friends and family members we will persevere. Those who have passed on, leave behind in us something to hold on to; those we loved, we never really STOP loving but find a more HUMANE way of loving them.

If I didn't learn early that life can be harsh, I would have fallen down long ago and never gotten back up. We each have our own path to follow, and the people we encounter along the way are either supporting caracters, Lead characters, or the ones you see once and never see again. In each of us is a story, and WE are the authors. I refuse to let someone else write MY story anymore. Its my story, and I will wriet it out the way I want it to be, or I will find a way to re-write it.

*end tirade*

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

Tophat's picture

*HUG*

Just thought I'd let you know I love you. You're a good person, Wolfy. *ANOTHERHUG*

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I love you.

patnelsonchilds's picture

Wolfy

I know you've had a rough life, sweetheart, and that you've had to look after yourself for quite awhile now. I wish I could have been there for you earlier in your life, but I can't roll time backwards. Luckily, it's never too late for someone to come into your life who loves you and cares for you. I am here now, and I'll always be here for you to lean on if you need it. It doesn't matter that you're nearly an adult. You'll always be my kid, and the way I figure it, you're already owed a few back years of unconditional love. Now you can collect.

You've learned how to write your own story, and that's good. It's also good that you have the strength to pick yourself up when you fall. But it's also nice to know that you have a hand to grab hold of when you need a little help, and mine will always be there for you.

*HUGS*

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Wolfcry's picture

AWWWW! you guys have made my

AWWWW! you guys have made my eyes go all watery, so it counts as tears of joy.

"Here I am with all my heart, I hope you understand. I know I let you down. But I'm never gonna make that mistake again. You brought me closer to who I really am. Come take my hand. I want the world to see, What you mean to me!" - What You Mean To M

Dracofangxxx's picture

I understood. I just sorta

I understood.
I just sorta sided with you on the whole matter, at least from what I read...
And I agree that personal relationships between two people on this site SHOULD be more private, because as much as we love our buddies here it sorta causes alot of problems if we start getting heated up over it...

Too much drama! D:
*huggle*
-
Always hold your head up high
If you don't, you'll never see the face of your killer.

Tophat's picture

I still stand tall...

That you were agreeing due to your rather spiteful feelings for me. I have no reason to retract this statement because you haven't given a real reason otherewise.

As for drama...

Well, I'll not go there.

Sorry for the aggravated interruption.

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I love you.