I was without interwebs for nearly a week. It was distressing, mostly because I have an online class and that + no internet connection = distressing. XP
But it's all better now and I can rant at you guys about stuff again.
I've officially decided that I don't know (or care) how I feel about Blackbelt in terms of "romance" or whatever. It's dumb. I feel over him, I see him, then I don't. And then I do again. Whatever. It doesn't make a difference unless he's interested which I doubt. Haha. Though I mean, if he were I don't want him to think I wouldn't be.
I think his mom realizes that I still have feelings for him (albeit off and on she only sees me when I'm around him which is the "on" period) because we were talking about Long-Distance-Boy and I was getting uncomfortable (but not from talking about LDB actually. But rather about how he's so busy in college and Blackbelt never really talks to him anymore. That's what made me uncomfortable because one of my biggest fears right now is that my friends are all going to go to college and make new friends and forget about me. I'll just fade into the background or something.) so she changed the subject. But Blackbelt is kind of... Oblivious. So unless she says something to him he'll probably continue to be oblivious. :P
As I was saying, I'm terrified that all of my friends are going to leave for college and then get busy/distracted/make new friends and lose touch with me while I'm back here playing catchup at the community college and job-having and deciding my future and real colleges and stuff.
I mean, most of my friends, if I lose touch with them... Whatever. But I'm worried about this happening with my closest friends. Maybe I'll be busy too but I still don't want to lose touch with them.
Senior year is moving so quickly. I almost want it to slow down a little. I'm not in a huge hurry, you know? I'm going to miss it all. It's weird.
I love my classes right now, well, not my online and after-school classes. But that's okay because they're not -too- much work.
But yeah. It's weird, being a senior this year. Because after this, this is it. I have to make my own decisions and stuff from this point on, which is kind of scary.
I know I can do it though. Because I can do anything.