I keep thinking I would like to write a journal on here. But then I think that I don't have anything to say. The last few weeks, maybe even months, I have been entirely consumed with my final year project for college. It has been an absolute nightmare. The supervisor I was assigned, is, quite frankly a bitch. She has been making my life a living hell since September. It's due next Monday and is still not finished. I am stressed but clinging to the fact that it will soon be over.
I am concerned by the time I am finished this project I wont actually have any friends left though. I have had to cancel on so many nights out, so many commitments because I have been too busy or tired from working on this, and nobody seems to quite grasp what it is I am doing. I had to cancel on going to an interview for an award my lgbt society is nominated for tomorrow, purely because I don't have the time to go. I feel awful about it.
I was supposed to go with two other committee members, who I haven't heard from since I told them I cannot go. To make things worse, my phone is broke since yesterday, so even if they were trying to contact me they would not have got me. I sent them a facebook message this morning but they haven't got back to me.
This is quite possibly the most boring journal I could have wrote but quite honestly it is my life at the moment.
I have however been chatting to Michelle(the ex) a whole lot lately. She commented it has been a while since we have seen each other, and we agreed to meet up for a while next week. I am not sure if she is being a little strange or something. I asked her if she had any news and she said she would tell all when she see's me. I am sort of paranoid she has a new girlfriend. Not that I should particularly mind if she does, because I don't want to get back together. But part of me feels a little odd if she has moved on to someone else already, and I am not sure why because it has been four months since we broke up, that's just one month less than we were together.
I don't know, my head is muddled at the moment methinks.
I was going to finish the journal there, but now I just have a flow of random thoughts, that I think I would like to keep writing. I have been finding myself really wanting to wear a shirt and tie when I go out. I know thats quite super dyke-tastic gay, which there is nothing wrong with, but I generally lean towards more feminine clothes when I go out. I have a denim skirt that I just absolutly love. But at the same time, I would really like to wear some nice loose fit jeans, a white shirt and black tie combination. I also bought some nike 6.0 recently which I think would match in perfectly. But for some reason I feel too embarassed or weird to go out dressed like that. I think there are two reasons for that-the first being I have a really hot friend who dresses like that and I don't want people thinking I am some sort of wannabe, I am not and secondly I just don't know if I am comfortable being that gay.
I wore a shirt and tie out once with jeans. It was at halloween. I had helped Michelle move into her new place, and had no clothes to wear by the time all my friends arrived to go out. Since I had been helping her move all day. So her flatmate gave me a loan of his shirt and tie as a costume for the craic. It was fun.