Pretend there's a cool title here, okay?

Super Duck's picture

I hate the assholes in my first period class. I hate them sooooo much. I had an argument with them about whether or not people "become" gay, and they were sore losers.

Me: Well, most gay people don't "become" gay. It's just how you are. Sure, it may take some time to realize, but it's not something you just spontaneously decide.
Guy 1: But that's not possible!
Me: Oh, but it is.
Guy 2: Well, maybe she's right, 'cause they all have funny voices and stuff.
Me: That's not why I'm right! That's not even true all of the time anyway.
Guy 2: Yes, it is.
Me: How many gay people do you know?
Guy 2: Uh...
Guy 1: Doesn't matter! It's okay to be mean to them because no one is supposed to be gay!
Me: Pretty sure no one is supposed to be a bigoted douchebag, but you aren't bashing on THAT.
Guy 2: Isn't there like, a law against being gay or something?
Me: Not in any civilized country!

Ugh, I hate them so much. I wish I didn't sit by them. I would try switching seats, but our substitute teacher, Mrs. [That Guy]'s Mom, knows our seating arrangement. Blah. She seems okay, though. I wonder how that works; his sister is so nice and his mom seems normal, yet he is soooo... well... himself.

You know, I really hate my voice. That's the second most common thing those two guys make fun of me about. I can't go a day without hearing, "Super Duck talks like a Yankee!" I totally lack the accent that's associated with where I live, and apparently that's just hilarious. I just cringe whenever I have to read aloud in English class. I have sort of a neutral accent, really. I sound a lot like some of my friends who moved here from California. But those guys don't ever make fun of them, just me, so I guess it's just because I'm Super Duck. But still, I hate my voice. Oh, my god. I was just listening to my recorded voice, and just... wow. Think 8-year-old boy with a very girly vocabulary.

Yeah, that was really random... So, let's see, what else has happened today? Well, today was drug test day! YAAAY! Not. I freaking hate drug test day. I don't have anything to hide, but the freaking nurse ladies cut a piece of your hair out of like, the back-middle. It's so annoying! (Haha, I have this friend who shaves his head, and last year they made him use leg hair!) It doesn't really show, especially if you have long and really thick hair like me, but it still bothers me because they use the same scissors for everyone, and they don't clean them. Just... eww. What if someone had lice or something!? Eww!

Oh, French Class Girl was ridiculous today. She pulled up Irritating Girl's skirt. Wowww. Unfortunately for her (and very fortunately for everyone else), Irritating Girl was wearing shorts under her skirt. She just casually went up behind Irritating Girl and flipped her skirt up. So. Freaking. Gay. Why can't she just admit it already? Just to me, even? I'm sorry, French Class Girl, but there's just no way you can lift up a girl's skirt, pay her to hug you, rub her hands all the time, and constantly touch her face while telling her she's pretty, then go and tell everyone you're 21992% straight and that you HAET TEH GHEYZ. It just doesn't work that way!

NO! FUUUUCK! My friend has gotten her phone taken away. Ughhh. And I was so totally going to try to talk to her this week too. In fact, I was just going to type up a pathetically whiny paragraph on the subject. That's so crappy! Now my only option is facebook chat, and she barely ever replies to that, plus my computer occasionally has a difficult time with those. It often makes me repeat stuff 2 or 3 times, as a lot of you know. :p But I feel like I should at least try the facebook chat, even though she isn't very good about replying to it, because I'm really missing her. :( I am also scared she will be busy and won't want to talk to me.

I feel so horrible because I never thought it would be this way, you know? Even when she left, I was pretty sure things would stay the same, and that I'd still talk to her very often, but I don't really know what's wrong with me... :S

She finally went and moved to that other town, an hour away. For some reason this greatly upsets me, even though it doesn't change MY life any since I barely get to see her anyway. But it does mean that she will never come back to my school in eleventh grade like she said. :'(

I should probably do my homework before it gets too late. Blah, homework, who needs you!? Such uselessness, most of these subjects. Such uselessness.


Dracofangxxx's picture


You should push French Class Girl into any close female whenever you can to see the lulz... Just run away while they're being awkard together >///>
You're twisted and perverted. I like that in a person.

Super Duck's picture

I KNOW RIGHT she might even

I KNOW RIGHT she might even be more gay than me and i'm like 239874% gay. D:

Haha, that would be so awkward and amazing!

You know, she was a cheerleader when she was in ninth and tenth grade at her old school. She mentioned that the other day, and I just can't see her as being a cheerleader... unless she joined so she could touch girls. O:

ferrets's picture


idk how you do it supa duck. if i were in your shoes there would be to homophobes with bleeding noses and one detention ridden gay boy.

"...I find it kinda funny,I find it kinda sad, that the dreams where i am dieing are the best I've ever had..." -gary jules

Super Duck's picture

Well, I can't exactly hurt

Well, I can't exactly hurt them. :p They are 6 foot tall athletes. I am 5'3" and have zero muscle mass. The bigger one also isn't afraid to hit me. In fact, he punched me and left marks on my arm three different times in middle school because he somehow thought I insulted his mother. (?!) He then says he "doesn't hit girls", which is complete and total bullshit because he does! (Unless I somehow am not a girl and my entire life has been one huge, cruel lie...) So, yeah, if I ever punch them, I had better call an ambulance for myself beforehand.

I guess I'm just kind of used to it. I mean, the people I go to school with have been raging, vocal homophobes for about 5 years now. I've just heard this crap every day since I was like 10 or 11... It really sucks. D:

elph's picture

Thanks for the memory

Bloody noses... received many in grade school. But, I suspect I didn't give any... can't remember :(

Ferrets, are you really that prone to violence? It's not part of the image I have.

ferrets's picture

not normally...

but that degree of stupidity would give me a haze of rage that common sense coulndt get thro :/

"...I find it kinda funny,I find it kinda sad, that the dreams where i am dieing are the best I've ever had..." -gary jules

elph's picture

I can understand that...

...a haze of rage... Great metaphor. I can picture it!

loreonpravus's picture

You have drug tests at your

You have drug tests at your school? I've never heard of that before.

And I concur with ferrets. But not bashing people's faces in is a good thing. Kind of. Only when they deserve it and you can get away with it.

Super Duck's picture

Yes, actually. None of my

Yes, actually. None of my friends from other places have ever had drug tests at school, so I think it might just be my school displaying its weirdness yet again.

Nanook's picture

You mean it's a bad thing

You mean it's a bad thing that you don't sound like an inbred loser who lost the war?

Wait... Is the South is still angry over the Civil War? Fuck me, I thought that was a relic of the past!

Super Duck's picture

Well, it definitely won't be

Well, it definitely won't be a bad thing when I move out into the civilized world and am able to blend in and never reveal where I was born. :p But for now, it's just one more thing for people to make fun of, which sucks a lot.

Most people actually aren't unless they're old or in this weird organization that honors the Confederacy. I forgot what it was called, but in sixth grade they came to our history class and told us that the North wrote the history books and lied and tried to make the South seem super horrible. Basically just a bunch of really weird stuff...

Nanook's picture

The North is most certainly

The North is most certainly not lying. I mean, by all means, if the South wants to secede again, then they should. I honestly wouldn't be sad if they left the Union - it would mean a whole lot less moronic republicans in this country.

Yea! Let's take this country back from those damn Republicans (this is kind of ironic, because the republican party was Lincoln's party).

Super Duck's picture

I agree that the South can

I agree that the South can secede if they (Oh, my god, did I really just say "they"? Well, I guess that's okay. I might physically live here, but my spirit sure as hell doesn't!) want to... but only if I can get away first!

jacjessen90's picture

well, i sound like the bastard son of jeff foxxworthy....

and i live in NEBRASKA!!!!!! i have the only southern accent in my school even though 1/2 the people in it came from verginia and georga just 9 months ago. and it's not fake... i have people say "quit fakin'!" and i'm like "ah'm nawt fayken..." (accent's kinda thick)

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez addams

Nanook's picture

Wait... You mean people

Wait... You mean people actually live in Nebraska?


Super Duck's picture

Gasp! We're opposites! XD No

Gasp! We're opposites! XD

No one really thinks my accent is fake, though. Instead, some people tell me to "go back to the North", but I can't go "back" to somewhere I've never lived! I've also had a teacher stop me mid-sentence before and ask me where I was from.

ferrets's picture


i bet some ppl in the south still think the war is ON wit the north as the shoot at squirrels in a drunken haze from there front porches :D

"...I find it kinda funny,I find it kinda sad, that the dreams where i am dieing are the best I've ever had..." -gary jules

Super Duck's picture

Sadly, I actually bet this

Sadly, I actually bet this happens!

I've never actually heard someone say, "The South will rise again!" or whatever, but many people talk about the "damn Yankees" and such. And where I live there are indeed a lot of crazy, drunken rednecks who will shoot ANYTHING.

Nanook's picture

Oh! And drug tests? Really?

Oh! And drug tests? Really? At your school?... really? I'm in a state of disbelief.

Drug tests are actually illegal in Vermont except when warranted by law or damages inflicted on company property (like if you crashed a car). Hell, I work with a special needs kid and they didn't do a safety survey or anything. As for lifeguarding, they "asked" about my drug usage, excluding the usage of marijuana and alcohol.

Super Duck's picture

Yeah, they have school drug

Yeah, they have school drug tests here for students in eighth grade and up. It's completely random. They'll take like, entire classes or half the class on any given day. I've only taken it twice. Many parents object to it, though it hasn't been changed. Apparently they only actually send it in if they have a reason to suspect that you've been doing drugs. I think it's a little ridiculous, honestly.