So I'm stupid.

Riku's picture

EDIT:

Okay so I'm still stupid but for different reasons.

I took a nap and now I'm miraculously almost completely over him. I guess this whole ordeal was a good push in the right direction.

But in other news, I'm like empathy central over here. Every time he talks about his surgeries and his dysmorphia I get so empathetic I nearly cry. I hate how much it hurts him and I hate how powerless I am to do anything about it. A major reason I want to go into tissue regeneration research is so people like him aren't without options. (I mean, I need options too but for the sake of other people is a way better way for me to motivate myself)

Also, I hate my binder. I don't feel comfortable not wearing it, even in my house. But it hurts if I wear it too long.

Fuck.

I need to be taking pictures or playing guitar or folding paper stars otherwise I'm going crazy. I'm so restless. My mind is always running and if I don't busy myself it runs in the wrong direction.

On the other hand, I find listening Radiohead is a very good way for me to clear my mind. I don't know why, but their music is oddly therapeutic to me, not all of it, but most of it.

Yeah. And if I'm not playing guitar and I want to be it bothers me. This has happened a lot. Also, I don't like my guitar anymore, it's tiny and the strings sound so metallic. I want to get a nice big one with nylon strings. I love the way nylon strings sound. :) (Too bad I'm broke huh?)

Comments

TotalGeek42's picture

But you'll find somebody! I

But you'll find somebody! I promise! ><

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"Dreaming that someone unknown has died means that either you've been watching too much CSI..." - 5thstory