My life as i know it has taken a turn for the worse. So now i only have two options to a better path. Only two.
Last night my little bro asked me if i was still bi. i said i wasn't sure. then he starts telling me how i disgust him and other rambling stuff. he said what i am is garbage and wrong. He's only 12, for heaven's sake!! i dont need lecturing from a child!! After that, he told me that he wanted his own room. thats totally fine with me. when he realized i wasn't going to listen to his garbage, he fell asleep.
i woke up 30 minutes after my little bro did this morning, enough time for him to give some sort of story to my mom. so when i finally finished getting ready for school, she started the lecturing all over again. My mom says she tired of me and she wants me out if im going to continue being gay/bi. Words like "god", "hell" and "bible" were in there somewhere, which i don't much care for. I began my sob story on how i want to be straight and how im trying my hardest. it always keeps her out of my hair for awhile.
But now, in the present, i sit at school on this computer. i feel like old jeans. tired and worn out. i need a way out. ive been thinking about it. everything. i lost my soulmate, my family hates me, im alone. i need a way out. Theres only two. I could runaway and crash at friend's houses until i can get a job, and then start my life. Or, i can do the ultimate; SUICIDE.
I'm not afraid to die anymore. There's nothing left here... I'd hate to do it cuz it means i gave up. But why continue playing a game you'll NEVER win? IDK. Well, i have to think. I'll write about it tomorrow. If i dont, you will all know where i am... thanks everyone for listening. Thank you oasis, for letting me vent. i love you all, especially BBNiNi and Ferrets... BYE.