UPDATE on this life i call mine...

lordmomofenixed's picture

There's this guy (we'll call him Neely) who i've had a crush on ever since i started high school. but he and his bf (who we''ll call Kuzmanoff) were totally inseperable... so i gave up. last year at prom, tho, i did dance with him. talk about FREAKING awkward as his bf watched!! time moved on in my freshman year, and he graduated cuz he was a senior. Over the summer, he got a job at target in the little cafe-section-thingy. i used to anticipate going there just to see him. My sophmore year started soon, and i had a class with Kuzmanoff during the first semester. the first semester ended and second semester started. Neely and Kuzmanoff broke up. my horribly twisted and wicked dream came true. i felt really bad, but here in the bible belt high school, homo-guys are hard to come by. sadly i missed my chance and now hes with some one else...

Just last week, i saw Neely with Stephers, a good girl friend of mine, at the mall. i was with my mom. i felt really embarrassed cuz i hadnt expected to see them there. i talked to Stephers the other day and i confessed that i was in love with Neely. she replies "after we saw u at the mall, Neely said that u were a guy that he always secretly liked." im like.... WTF? too bad he's taken. but i got his number from her so ill have to call him whenever my mom isnt down my neck.

so, last nite, i got an idea. so i wrote a note inviting Neely on a date. its not cheating if we just go out as friends. i gave it to Stephers to deliver it to him when she sees him later today. now, i cant wait to get his response. i also added in the part where i explain how long ive been infatuated with him. it kinda makes me feel like a homewrecker (which im not no matter wat lance says), but i dont intend for any sort of romance to happen. i just want to be close to him just for awhile before i move.

today in gym, we made breakfast. i made pancakes and this uber adorable kid (who i actually strongly disliked until today) made sausages. my friend's girlfriend made biscuits. it was fun outside in the cold (no sarcasm intended, honest). and ive reallized, i dont hate lance so much anymore. i dont know wat it is. so i shared my breakfast with him when he finished his plate. i think i sense the gay side of him resurfacing... maybe. thats the side i love. now he just needs to dump his cousin... im still not gonna date him again tho... hahaha.... not again...

BTW, my life in the bible belt is almost over. i just have to pass my sophmore year and we're moving in june (hopefully sooner). we got the house, so im gonna start packing soon. lol. im gonna miss Neely...