Today, I got sick.
I felt it coming yesterday, and battened down the hatches.
Not enough though...
I decided to go to both school and club swimming. You stupid bastard, Chad from 7 hours ago...
I'm like wheeze-coughing now, and it's feeling harder to breathe than usual.
My mom told me to choose one swimming place tommorow, and Thursday, then I can do both again on Friday.
I need to get "rest", although apparently my definition of the word is still swimming a mile or two a day...
Although, I do go to the Great Wolf Lodge this weekend, which if fabulous. Looking forward to it.
Well, I scootered home from club swimming, then walked into the house at almost 8. My dad was at the Y, mom was at a soccer game, my brother was getting a haircut. I had dinner, and during dinner, I did homework.
Then, after I finished dinner, and still wasn't done with homework, I decided to do something rebellious.
"Let's watch 24!" I had it recorded, and it played yesterday. I watched for a while, when my mom got home. She doesn't like me watching TV on weekdays.
She got mad, as she always does, and blew it totally out of proportion, and said I was lazy because there I was watching TV when I wasn't finished with my homework.
I was furious. I wanted to just scream I've done FAR more work than you today, and I've watched FAR less TV! My whole freakin DAY has been a whole block of work! Up at 6:30, leaving at 7:30, school until 3:00, both swim clubs until 8:00, all while I'm still freakin SICK, and you have to come in here and take even that, and take every speck of leisure I have left, and turn me into a workaholic even before adulthood, all of which is ironic because you're the unemployed housewife who doesn't even do much of anything, and I'm LAZY????????????!!!!!!
But of course I didn't, I just said I'd get right on it.
And I just realized what a lonely bastard I have become.
All those things that regular kids do, I've never done. I've never been in a serious relationship. I've never drank a drop of alchohol. I've never taken an ounce of drugs.
Breaking the rules and being self-destructive just doesn't thrill me.
I go to a summer camp every year for 3 weeks during the summer, and the same thing always happens with the boys.
"Let's all go over to the girls side!" which, at this camp, is completely forbidden to ever be on the girls side.
Not that it's that tempting, but jeez, it's where the party is.
Everyone left me there, just sitting in the tent, because I just don't like to break rules. I'll insult them until I turn purple, but they ARE the rules.
Why can't I have just ONE self-destructive or SOMETHING to forget my problems with? I have enough of them, and sometimes it sucks to ALWAYS be so RESPONSIBLE, and DEAL with my problems all the time. Jeez, I'm like an adult, which I most definitley do NOT want.
As I always say, plenty of time to be an adult when you're an adult.
How lonely am I?