Musings

randomjordan's picture

If there is ever such a more important moment in a girl's life, it would certainly be the firsts. All of them. First kiss, first crush, first period, first dance, first car, First.... Partner. But I think one of them truly holds the most weight. The one most significant. The one that can flip a girl's world right up on it's back like a confused turtle, or completely reorganize everything they ever thought about themselves. It is the most debilitating, overwhelming, all-consuming, frightening, and beautiful thing for a first.

A first love.

And yes I did mention crush up further, but a truly passionate first love of someone completely trumps any crush. The cute boy or girl down the street with the hot body, who stimulates that chill factor all down your spine and sparks a fire in your loins, is really just a crush if nothing else comes with that. He or she is the ideal man or woman, in which your body tells you. "Have their children right now!" It's that biological signal, A love is so much more though.

The first recognization and noticing of that person seizes all your senses in love. You are compelled to watch them, soak in every detail you can gather. Smell them if you can, taste them through that smell. Catch and categorize their voice. Follow their movement, hear their laugh, watch their motions. You simply want to know every possible detail you can get, without approaching them, without talking to them. You get closer, as close as you can, simply to feel closer and take in more of them. But only closer, for if you were forced to talk or interact with that person all your communication ability just simply shuts off.

All this happens, despite the world continuing normally around you, it didn't notice you doing these things, and hopefully the person didn't either. It doesn't help that your heart flutters sometimes with all these symptoms of obsession which is the most common attribute to 'falling in love'. In most cases you aren't falling in love every time your heart flutters like most people would probably believe thanks to media. That's because crushes simulate this same condition, not to mention it is a physiological response to just having a heightened state of awareness.

Crushes love to imitate love. It's a sad thing really. An intense passion that sonsumes the senses with every part of your body being stimulated is love. Simply a little heart flutter with an intense but quick subsiding passion is generally crushes. Not to say people who go off on these crushes are doomed in that relationship, just be ready if your come across someone else that plucks your heartstrings more.

So many fell to their crushes, but don't fret. It wasn't their fault. You see from a young age, us girls are convinced that we are to be seeking the man that we can lean on. That can protect us. That prince that is supposed to rescue the poor defenseless damsel who is always in distress even after she is rescued.

I say screw that prince, and not literally. Who says any girl needs to be rescued let alone in distress. It doesn't matter what form the prince may come in, male, female, somewhere in between, dim-witted, witty, or crafty like a kitsune. We don't need him or her. And it's not just our own up bringing that fucks with our ability to distinguish this crush from love. The way those so called princes are raised are even worse. I would know I had to deal with that.