Today was interesting!

Super Duck's picture

Today was very, very, very eventful. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with a list, then go into detail about each thing. It's easier to organize my thoughts that way.

1. My arch nemesis is a weirdo to the 23rd degree.
2. For dissecting froggies, I got this cute girl as one of my group members.
3. People need to leave my friend, who has the greatest taste in music ever, alone.
4. French Class Girl's parents are the absolute most clueless people ever to walk the planet.
5. My new English teacher is a fucking dumbass.

So, I bet you wanna know what my arch nemesis did, right? Well, my rival and I were talking about her, and she mentioned this one thing that she did while they were alone one night. It's really, really bad. Oh, my god.

My rival said that my arch nemesis came out of the shower one night without a towel. She told her, "Um, put a towel on. I don't wanna see that." Arch nemsis said, "Shut up before I hump you." My rival was very confused, but then my arch nemesis started chasing her around the room. She then pinned her to the floor and proceeded to hump her freaking leg. Naked. At night. While they were alone.

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

It gets even worse. While I was trying to scrub my brain of those disgusting images, my rival said that wasn't even the first time she had done something like that! And my arch nemesis used to call ME weird!

Anyway, next topic! The froggy... Oh, god, its internal organs were so gross, especially the heart. I don't know why, it just looked funny. I made myself not throw up by telling myself over and over that if I did, the cute girl wouldn't talk to me. Surprisingly, she knew my name. I think I've only talked to her like once, but today we had a nice conversation. French Class Girl thinks she's cute too. I heard this one douchebaggy guy texted a bunch of really sexual stuff to Cute Biology Girl, asking her how "experienced" she was and shit like that. Perv.

People on formspring are being mean to my friend again. I got sick of the stupid assholes hiding behind the anonymity and sent her something along the lines of "People on here need to stop being so shitty to you because I say you're amazing." She responded to it and said something like "Aww, thank you! I appreciate you! Whoever wrote this is great." I'm too lazy to look up our exact words. It was something like that. I'm glad I made her happy, even though she doesn't know it was me. :)

Why does she have the best taste in music? Well, I'm going to sound really lame, but when she first left, I had this one song I listened to a lot. There was one part in particular I would rewind and listen to over and over again. Today, not only did she post the song as her facebook status, but it was also that one specific part I liked. I was so freaking shocked to see it. I commented on it and was like, "OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS" and she was like, "YES" and then this random guy commented, but I don't know him.

Anyway, French Class Girl is crazy. Today she learned how to say, "Will you sleep with me?" in French. That's not what we're going to talk about, though. We're going to discuss the fact that her parents are extremely oblivious to everything ever. Her mom wants to know why she never has a boyfriend, and her dad is convinced she's hiding one somewhere. AHAHAHAHA! Really? REALLY? Does she really even need to answer that? I'm pretty sure freaking Helen Keller knows why French Class Girl doesn't have a boyfriend, and she's deaf, blind, and DEAD!

So, yeah, French Class Girl was ranting about what her parents do today. It was pretty hilarious.

"My mom is really worried because I don't have a boyfriend. She always asks me, 'French Class Girl, sweetie, why don't you ever like any boys?' It annoys me so much! Maybe I don't WANT a boyfriend! Why would anyone!? At 17, there aren't even any NICE boys!"

French Class Girl, the reason you don't have a boyfriend isn't because there aren't any nice boys. There are indeed some nice boys out there, it's just that people like you and me aren't attracted to nice boys, or any boys at all, for that matter. You don't have a boyfriend because you are GAY. You are a raving closet-homosexual from Mars! And that's why we love you! What on Earth would we do without such a goldmine of entertainment? Although I do hope you finally grow up and stop denying your gayness before you do something totally stupid...

"And then my dad is convinced that I am hiding guys. One time, I locked some stuff in the house, and I was trying to get a key from him, but he wouldn't let me get my makeup because he thought I was going on a date with some random guy."

French Class Girl... Your dad is stupid. End of story.

And now, our last topic! My stupid English teacher! We might end up having a free day on Wednesday, and the teacher wanted to get a movie for us to watch. She didn't know what we wanted, so today we were discussing that. She kept being a total drama queen about it and complaining about everyone's choices. She hates comedies, superhero movies, and sad movies. I forgot what movie it was, but someone suggested a movie that my English teacher really, REALLY didn't like. The worst part is why she doesn't like it.

English teacher: EW! GOD NO! That movie has two girls kissing in it!
Some guy: Yeah, for like, two seconds.
English teacher: And that's way too long!
The most homophobic girl in the class: Oh, my god, it's only ONE scene! One!
English teacher: BUT I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT! EWWW!

If the most homophobic girl in the class can be mature about it, why can't the teacher?! Why is the teacher acting like a 5-year-old over movies anyway? She started out saying that the only rule was that it had to be PG-13 or below, and all movies suggested were PG-13, so it's not like we were breaking any rules. But then she started whining about every single thing suggested. I hate her freaking attitude. She's always so bitchy.

Also, you think gay people are gross, Mrs. English Teacher? Your best student disgusts you? Wow, I've had teachers hate me before, but I've never disgusted one. I wonder what you'd do if I had raised my hand and said, "Um, excuse me, ma'am, but I'M gay, so I guess you think I'm gross too." Would you start apologizing and trying to dig your way out of that one, or would you say I was horrible and that you didn't like me?

I hate my teachers so much. Most of them are just... stupid.

Comments

Splash's picture

Right now I'm thinking how

Right now I'm thinking how hilarious it would be if French Class Girl's parents REALLY DID refer to her as "French Class Girl." :-)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Super Duck's picture

It would be even funnier if

It would be even funnier if one accidentally stumbled upon Oasis one day and read my journals about her, thinking, "Wow, that French Class Girl suuuure is messed up. I wonder what is wrong with her parents..."