Super Duck's picture

As much as little kids bother me, sometimes they can have a rare moment of complete and total epic awesome. This occurred today.

9-year-old: Tell me about weird people, Super Duck.
Me: Weird people? Well, uh, there was this girl in my French class who thinks my mom is super freaking awesome and would tell me so every chance she got. She also likes for her friends to touch her hair every day, and she always wrecks her car.
9-year-old: Wow.
Me: Yeah.
9-year-old: IS SHE GAY, SUPER DUCK?
Me: Wait, what? Did you just ask...
9-year-old: Is she GAY?
Me: Well, yeah, probably, but she's what you'd call "in Closetland."
9-year-old: Oh.

The emphasis she put on "gay" was pretty hilarious, I'm not gonna lie.

Anyway, wow, French Class Girl. Even a 9-year-old who doesn't even know you picked up on your high levels of gay. What a thing for a 9-year-old to ask, though, right? Haha. Oh, FCG... your gayness is showing. Like, all of it. For serious. But hey, it's June. And you know what happens in June, right, FCG?

Then she wanted to know what FCG looked like, so I went on facebook and showed her a picture. The kid's reaction? "AAAHHHH! HER SMILE! AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Epic. Win.

Unfortunately, that was the only win I experienced today. The kids came over again, as you can tell, and this time they wouldn't leave me alone. I left my door unlocked accidentally, and then I couldn't get them to leave...

There was, however, a FAIL. An epic one, really. My sister is gonna turn out so fucked up unless someone steps in and smacks her upside the head with a clue-by-four. When the 9-year-old said "gay," my sister gasped and started freaking out.

Me: What?
Sister: She said GAY.
Me: Do you even know what gay is?
Sister: No... I just know it's bad.

Umm, you're talking to someone who is, you clueless, clueless little bitch. D: I was gonna go into a HUGE rant about how horrifically wrong she was, but I'm not allowed to speak on the subject in front of her. DLFDSFKDJ. >:C

I really hope the kids don't come over tomorrow, though... I'd really like a peaceful day with no screaming or getting beaten up by an overzealous 6-year-old.

My mom just said she was sorry. I'm not believing it. I'm not going back home until she acts normal again. No more God oil or deeming everything ever "ungodly."

Anyway, I was popular today. My rival and one of my friends both started texting me at the same time. My rival had some bad news to share... Hero from geometry class is 99.9% sure he's changing schools. :( Nooooo! I then told her about my mom's stupidity. My rival is into the whole God thing, but even she thinks my mom is being freakish.

So... I don't know. I guess there isn't much else to say.


Dracofangxxx's picture



and the gay thing does bother me. I hope she means "Gay" is bad in the way that you're not supposed to insult people with it...
You're twisted and perverted. I like that in a person.

Super Duck's picture

I KNOW RIGHT? D: I'm not


I'm not even sure if she knows what she means. I'm going to hope she doesn't...