Dilemma

ShowMeLove's picture

My sister sent me this longish message today. Most of it was about her bachelorette party. She wants to go to Niagara Falls and do some attractions including that crazy river ride that costs 59 BUCKS! The thing is I just don't have the money. It's like she thinks I'm made of money and I can just throw it around like that. Seriously. She knows the situation at home and how tight money is, or at least I think she does. I'm positive she does. AND she most definitely knows that I don't have a job right now, so where exactly am I supposed to pull that money out from? The magical money tree in the backyard?!

I'm not mad as much as I know how that ^^ sounds. I'm just frustrated at the way she's treated me throughout this whole process. I'm just expected to have the money like she does. From the beginning when she sent me the message saying that the Bridesmaid dress was gong to cost $200 and did I "have the money to pay for it?"

And, God, I know how much this means to her. I could most see it in her last message when she was describing what she plans to do for the bachelorette party. She sounded so excited..or her words on the Interweb made her seem really excited, anyways. I felt happy for her. I FEEL happy for her.

It's just that I don't have the money to spend like she does. I wanna do it, I just don't feel comfortable spending so much along with all the other mandatory costs (shoes, nails, makeup, hair, presents, ect). Holy fuck, Lady, I DON'T HAVE A JOB. And I can't borrow from our parents when they're borrowing from ME. Again.

Anyways, I just don't know what to do or what to say. I'll feel bad if I don't get back to her tonight...or, I mean, before I go to bed this morning. What the hell do I do?

Comments

hellonwheels's picture

i feel ya...

although i do have a job currently, it doesn't pay much, and my sister is also expecting me to travel w/ her for their wedding and knows i can't afford it...its like older siblings expect that you make the same amounts as they do...um, not the case. i also feel you on the whole happy for them, yet not happy too..i think we both discussed this a few of my journals back

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

ShowMeLove's picture

I'm writing the note now...

and have been for at least a half an hour. I'm stuck at the end and I don't know what to say. I'm dreadfully tired, too. But I feel like I have to send it tonight.

It's like, do you say "Wow, your plans sound awesome. Oh, but, yeah, I can't come. I Don't feel like I can spend that much money."? It's weird to say stuff like that in a Facebook message, because then I can only imagine it coming across wrong or weird.

It definitely can be a case of the older sibling assuming that everyone can handle it because they can.

It sucks that you're very much in the same boat. Why can't the older siblings learn we're not like them? lol. And you, you have school on top of work. So, I'm sure you don't pull in the same hours as your sister or her soon-to-be.

I'm stressing out on other wedding related things, so that's not helping either. Blah...in a lot of ways I wish'd postpone it till next year.

hellonwheels's picture

POSTPONE!!

i am all for that. lol

i should say the same to my sis.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

ShowMeLove's picture

Yes

Oh, how I wish they would both do it. I think everybody could benefit from the weddings being pushed back a year or so.