Lost Inside My Rainbow

CharlieValentine's picture

Here it is... I am new to Oasis. I read a few journals and realized, that this may be the place to be to help and guidance.

Hello, I am a 27 year old single mother of a 2 year old daughter. I have always been attracted to women, sometimes more than men. I fanticize, dream, and yearn for women more than I do men. However, I have been with many men in the past years, but I still yet have to feel 100% comfortable or satisfaction. I have never been with a woman, but yearn the company of a women over that of a man. Since I was very young I noticed I had an attraction to girls even before that of boys.

I am more than attracted to one girl in particular right now. She is funny, fun to be around, smart, charming, and so much more. She has a wonderful personality and is someone I could actually see myself dating. However, this is the first time I've had a full blown crush on a female, or at least wasn't in denial about.

Please help me. What should I do? Are these feelings real or just me wanting to fulfill a fantacy? I am so confused!


elph's picture

Welcome to Oasis

Hi Charlie...

As you continue reading the journals and posts, you will find that Oasis is ideally suited for questioning young teens up through those who are presently at various stages of early university.

They come here feeling totally free to share their many joys and fears that are an inevitable part of their developing affections... more often than not for the same sex.

The main indirect lesson that is internalized through such unhindered communication is: they are not alone... and are most certainly not the dregs of society as homophobes would have them believe!


I suspect that none of the current Oasis participants (particularly those who post Journals) has advice from personal experience for your current quandary.

As for me (well above the age of Journal posters)... my advice would be to concentrate on developing a friendship that capitalizes on shared interests other than those that are primarily libido-centered.

Give it time... and enjoy the friendship. If the two of you are indeed compatible, I feel that this will be mutually recognized over time.

Wishing you the very best...

Just Dave's picture


I think this may be the first time I ever disagree with elph.

I actually think that most Oasians have personal experience of a similar situation; having a crush on a same-sex friend is really, really, common on this site. And although none of us are exactly at the same place in our life, the solution is pretty much the same, isn't it?

Step 1: Determine if the person is gay/lesbian, or if they are, if they are single.

Step 2: If they are gay and available, try to spend more time around them and develop a relationship.

Step 3: If they are not, spend some time around other friends/gay people. The sooner you start trying to get over a crush the better.

Obviously there are other factors at play (like a two year old kid), but otherwise, I think we can all remember our first non-hetero crush.

Oh, and good luck.

elph's picture

No Problem... :)

It's great to read your advice... no argument from me.

I hope all here realize that I, also, am on a learning curve.