Love will be.
There's too many people out there sitting and waiting for someone to love them. They wish, and want, and aim to recieve it.
The trick is to give love first.
People who go out and love and care will always be surrounded by people who love them, even if they don't realize it. Maybe they won't realize it because they're too busy caring about other people, or maybe they won't realize it because they're too happy to.
I think I'm learning. I think I'm growing up alot faster than before.
I went to the library today, and checked out four books. "The Chemistry of Joy: A three-step program for overcoming depression through Western science and Eastern wisdom",
"Writing About Your Life: A Journey into the Past",
"Postmortem: How medical examiners explain suspicious deaths",
and "The Story of Science: Newton at the center".
They're huge books. I'm excited to read them, though. One I really wanted to check out was "A Proffesional's Guide to Diseases" but it was a reference book so I couldn't. Sadly.
I'm just like everyone else, I have a brain and I'm able to think and act. Some days I feel so normal. Other days, I feel so different. It's all fine though. It's normal to feel that way.
I walked in the counselor's office hoping to get diagnosed, fixed, helped, or told I was too insane for society. I walked in there believing I was positively different.
I walked out feeling particularily dissappointed.
How could I just be normal if I felt so strange?
Then I began to learn that I'm not only particularily normal, but I am also extremely different in my own personality way!
Mentally, I'm sounder than many people out there. I'm still a bit tweaked, but not bad enough to worry about.
Accepting my normality was the hardest part. I always knew I was different and expected it to apply to every situation I could come up with.
I was wrong.
While it may be true that some traits of me are, well, substantially different (My capacity for complicated decision making and deep thinking that most of my peers can't even comprehend... Toughness and sheer dumb luck in the face of problems, including my not-so-admirable fire-spit way of arguing, and most of all, my willingness to help and my ability to love) I'm most particularily normal and average. Average grades, average skills, average at everything.
It feels sort of good. For once, I'm feeling relieved.
I got scared.
Scared that I'd be too "wrong" for public. Too "wrong" for the people I love.
I don't know where it came from, but it was new. Now it's sticking.
A great quote that I came across today thanks to dear old Cherry is:
"You may have a hundred things that's wrong with you, but there's a million things that make you just so right."
And for once, I get that. I may be flawed, everyone is, but there's things about me that people truly do admire and love.
And I'm happy.
Words to live by:
Give love, before recieving, and be happy with the simple things. For there's no complex without the simplicities first; No house of cards without the ace of spades first...
And most of all?
Make someone smile today.
Love you guys <3