how pissed off i am.
its at the point where im either going to:
hurt myself (which is most likely not going to happen cause im past that) 1%
break something 10%
its where i cant think about anything except for what made me angry. where i want to tell that person off so badly, but i know i would regret it later on so i dont.
i cry cause there's so much, and i have no idea what to do with it. actually im starting to cry right now.which is bad because if mom comes home and sees that ive been crying she's going to ask me what happened. and if she finds that out shes going to be mad at the person.
which is Christina. >.<.
i dk. the whole thing is stupid. i mean, i shouldnt be so angry.
then she signed off, which pissed me off even more. like it made it sooooo much worse. before she left she told me to just call her later. and then i kinda sent her her a message saying (she was offline at the time) that i wasnt going to call her at all, and i didnt know why she was being such a jerk (i really wanted to say asshole, but the whole "im going to regret it later" made me think twice. i wanted to say something meaner than what i typed. but i didnt).
we hadnt spent much time together in the last two days. like at all. cause mom had me go with her everywhere. and yesterday she told me (before i left) that we could spend today together (or some shit like that). today we got home from church (blegh) and mom asked me if i wanted to go with her. i told her no cause i knew i was supposed to spen the day with christina. so, when i logged on i asked her what she was doing. she said she was waiting for her mom cause they were house sitting tonight. whatever right? she told me a while back about this, she said not to worry cause wed still be able to spend time together and what not. well. i guess not. i dont know. maybe it was wrong for me to get to so mad at her. maybe i am being "clingy" like she said. all i wanted to do was spend time with her cause we havent for the last two days.
i have to go try and clean now. dont need to get yelled at when my parents get home.