I DID IT!!! =D

tenmilestilts's picture

I told her!! Finally!

Here's the story:
A week ago before K went off to camp I texted her and told her I had something to tell her: "i have what i guess you could call a jacob complex...if you know what i mean. i'll tell you next time we get together." She was confused but didn't press the matter. Last week was soo painfully slow. I'd forget about it for a while then I'd remember, or lamb_da would remind me, and the anticipation was killing me. I was glad I'd kind of dropped a hint though, because I knew it would keep me from chickening out--she was gonna ask me about it.

Today I went over to K's house. Brought Set, which I've gotten her addicted to. Normally I'd drive over to her house, but it's a five-minute walk and I wanted to be able to take a walk and not have to go straight home if it went badly. We went out onto her back deck and started playing Set--I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Not two minutes into the game, her middle sister came over (she has two younger sisters) and joined in. I was a little disappointed, but I knew I'd find a chance to tell her. Five minutes later, her youngest sister came along and joined in too. I knew K is competitive and kind of crazy, but her sisters are too--that was the loudest, most insane game of Set ever. We played Set for a while, until I started winning outrageously and we all got bored of it. One of her sisters went and got Blokus, which I'd never played before, and we played a couple games of that.

My dad texted me and reminded me to call my grandma (it's her birthday today), and K's dad came out and said he was getting dinner ready, and I was like "Mkay, I need to tell her..." So I said, "Quiero hablar contigo antes de salgo." ("I want to talk to you before I leave" in my slightly botched Spanish... She and I both know Spanish and her sisters don't.) So we put away the game and she and I went up to her room. I sat on the end of her bed and fiddled with the rubber band around the box of cards for Set. "So..." she finally said. "What's that about Jacob and all?" I took a deep breath. "Well," I hedged, "Jacob's in love with Bella, right?" She nodded. I fidgeted, not looking at her, then glanced up and said, "I have a crush on you." I watched her facial expression. No flinch, no revulsion--but no return of feelings. "Oh," she said. "Okay." She (in retrospect, I realize this) hardly even seemed surprised.

"You should have met G," she said (can't remember the exact name but it's just initials so who cares?). "You'd've liked him. --He was this guy at RYLA [the camp she was at], he came out to everybody. And they were so great about it." She went on to explain how they'd broken into groups and talked about tolerance and stuff, and she'd done the "Gender and Sexuality" group, and how G had talked about a rule at his school where anyone who says "That's so gay" or the F word (you know which one) gets detention. And she told me she was thinking of joining GSA next year. "You should!!" I told her, because I'm set to be head and not only do we have dismally few members, the (gay) teacher who backed it is switching schools. So we went to talking about ideas for GSA and she said we could ask G for ideas and she could try to get some of her friends to join and I told her some of my ideas.

Then I called my grandma while K got out her work from architecture camp (she was at a five-week pre-college camp earlier in the summer) and then she showed it to me and she gave me back some books I'd lent her, and then I stayed for dinner and everything was completely normal. She talked about Estes Park (where her camp had been) and told me that we had to go go camping there sometime. After dinner we (she and her sisters and I) played hide-and-seek all over her three-and-a-half story split-level house (very fun!) and then she said she wanted to go to bed so I got my stuff together and she was like "I'll be right back" and ran up to her room and got her purse and I was like "Huh?" and she was like "I'm not making you walk home in the dark" and that's when I knew for sure that everything was okay.

...I'm just *so incredibly happy*. This weight that's been on my shoulders for over two years is finally gone. She knows, and she's okay with it, and she still loves me, and we're still best friends. I've been so worried about next year--what with three good friends graduated, another moving away, and one old friend from middle school coming, I was so concerned about the social situation--losing K on top of all that? But I haven't. And so even if things do get mixed up, I'm still gonna have her around.

Shortly after I got home, I texted her: "thank you for being such an awesome person. =)" She sent back a simple "Ur welcome."

Comments

tenmilestilts's picture

Oh, and lamb_da? Thanks so

Oh, and lamb_da? Thanks so much. I know I already told you this, but I'm telling the truth when I say I couldn't have done it without you. =)
---
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

jeff's picture

Sounds good...

Glad it went well...

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Uncertain's picture

yay good for you and good

yay good for you and good for her :)

lamb_da's picture

THAT VIDEO WHAT NOT ENOUGH.

THAT VIDEO WHAT NOT ENOUGH. I'M GOING TO BE DANCING SOME MORE, BUT NOT FOR ANYONE'S EYES BECAUSE THEY WOULD BLEED.

OMGOMGOMGOMG. I KNOW YOU ALREADY TOLD ME, BUT I'M SO EXCITED AGAIN!!!!!!!!11 LAKSFHA;LSGALJS;FJAJDSKJFA;SLGHJA;DLFJA;LSFJASF

GAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE A SPAZ ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DKJA;SGFJA;SFASL;FSKFJSKLFJKALSJFHALSKFJALSKFJAASFKHD;A;F;ASFHLKF

ahem.....now. about this moving on your spoke of before you ditched me for sleep? how about just taking a rest from this whole crushing on someone thing. i did it for a while and it was...stress free, but i missed the feeling of caring about someone. and then i went and just had to get a crush on that cimorelli XP so stupid....

AH LAV EW GIRLY! EW EES SUPA FLY YO! BEEG HUG EN KEES FUH EW!

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

Bi the Book's picture

CONGRATS!!!! im happy for

CONGRATS!!!! im happy for you. i hope, when its my turn, it goes the same way. she sounds like a rly good friend

tenmilestilts's picture

thanks everyone. ^^ this

thanks everyone. ^^

this whole situation made all the better by the fact that i told a few close friends about it today and they were all so happy and supportive and renewed the feeling of general awesomeness.

and you know what i realized? although the creeping negativity (in this case the "how to get over her?") is always present (with me at least), this feeling of elation and success is rather uncommon for me. so even though it's not 100% it's still pretty damn awesome (and i don't curse so that's incredibly awesome XD).
---
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

TotalGeek42's picture

j;aksighbns. That's awesome.

j;aksighbns.
That's awesome. :D
Like really, really awesome. :D

"Assets, assets..."

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

"pretty pleaseeee w/ icecream and rainbows and and... NPH wearing nothing but Doctor Who-themed underwear on top :P ??" -holahaveamuffin -- Way to my heart