I've Got the Blues :(

reign_beaux_brite's picture

Ok, my name is Emily, and I have the blues. The deep down, navy blues to be exact. I have almost come to the conclusion that I'm gay. But no one knows this. At all. No one even suspects it. I was in a committed relationship with a guy for two years. And on the surface, we were a perfect couple. But, I just could not make myself like him as anything other than a friend. I just don't desire guys in "that way". Just the though of "consumating" a relationship with a guy makes me want to gag! But I feel totally different about girls! The big problem is: I live in Mississippi. Bible Belt Central. So, I can't just come out to my family or friends. My family would disown me, and my friends would never speak to me again. So, I try to put on a "straight" act. I talk about boys with my friends, discuss male celebrity crushes, etc. But it's getting too hard to deny that I have these feelings...any advice?

Comments

miss-understood's picture

I used to do that when I was

I used to do that when I was younger. How old are you?
Now days I live with my partner of 15 months.
It wasn't until I was 18 that I fully came out.

lamb_da's picture

oh my dear. *hug* yes, how

oh my dear. *hug*
yes, how old are you?

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

carmen143's picture

In this situation...

Start with your friends first. Maybe mention a band that has gay members, or a celebrity in a movie who is gay. Gauge their reaction.

If it's horrible, then don't say anything and wait for college. lol :)
But if it's a good reaction, then consider coming out.

Now this is just my advice. Everyone should come out on their own terms and at their own time.

good luck! Oh and welcome to Oasis.

*Throws rainbow confetti*

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"I know you, Naomi. I know you're lonely. I think you need someone to want you. Well, I do want you. So be brave, and want me back!" - Kathryn Prescott, Skins

Super Duck's picture

Welcome to Oasis! When I

Welcome to Oasis!

When I saw that you lived in Mississippi, I had to comment because I live there too! Do you live in one of the more populated areas like Jackson, or do you live out in the middle of nowhere like me? :p But yeah, I know how it is here... If you ever feel the need to rant about living in Mississippi, you can always rant to me because I know exactly how things are here!

As for your situation, Carmen143 offered some pretty good advice. If you're sure that your family will kick you out, I'd definitely wait until college if I were you. Is there anyone at your school who is openly gay/bi or at least openly supportive? You could always go talk to them.