so ive been holding things in for awhile now.

cheese's picture

i went on a date tonight.

she was cute, but she annoyed me a little. :P

then after she left and i had to wait for my mom i remembered that the shirt i was wearing was the one Christina wore the day we went to the aquarium.

it was weird.

it made me sad.

but angry at the same time.

angry at myself,

angry at her,

and angry at everyone who was against us.

i still talk to her. and maybe i shouldnt. i cant help it though.

and earlier when i was IM'ing her, she pissed me off.

she told me she was drinking last night.

and i told her that i didnt think it was fair,

she told me that she "only took two sips" and its not like she was "getting carried away and smoking who knows what and drinking alot."

she obviously didnt get the point.

she's not supposed to drink, she's supposed to be against that.

but i guess it's like with the incident with her cousin.

i dont like her cousin.

i mean i honestly dont like her.

hate could probably describe how i feel about her.

i feel as if she somehow told Christina something, and convinced her she wasnt happy and just could not wait any longer for me.

because it always happens right after she hangs out with that one cousin.

and then im starting to get annoyed and tired of Christina.

i hate that she can act as if everything is ok, nothing happened, and we're just great friends.

i hate that she doesnt seem to be hurting.

i hate that it seems like she's having the time of her life without me "holding her down"

i hate the thought of her going out, kissing or doing anything else with someone who isnt me.

i do miss her.

i miss everything.

and honestly, if she called me and told me she wanted me back, i'd say yes.

i'd be the happiest person alive.

but she'd probably get tired of me again two months later.

despite me trying my hardest,

doing anything i can to get there.

i fucking hate everything.


tenmilestilts's picture

*hug* there. don't you feel

there. don't you feel better now?
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!